Be A Better You: Self Help

Showing posts with label Self Help. Show all posts

Helpful Tips to Overcome Procrastination

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Helpful Tips to Overcome Procrastination

Many among us, on many instances, have the habit of putting
aside to a later time or day some things that needs to be done
or acted upon like a project, work, job, or duty. For purposes
of discussion, we will confine ourselves to procrastination on
repair works typically at home. It equates to other
circumstances as well.

Procrastination is one habit that is hard to beat. We
procrastinate for various reasons:

1. When we think that the work that needs to be done can
afford to wait or be delayed.

2. When we are busy with something else we think is more
important.

3. When we do not like the work involved or when it is
difficult to do.

4. When we are not sure if the work that needs to be done
will be effective.

5. When the things needed in the work are not yet available
or incomplete.

6. When we forget about it.

And many other reasons like laziness or a combination of the
above.

Hard to beat as it is, we stand to gain more and virtually
loose nothing if we overturn this habit.

Check out these helpful tips:

1. When we think that a work can afford to be delayed, it can
also afford not to be delayed. By having the work done without
further delay, we feel a sigh of relief making the load of work
on our back lesser or lighter, which eventually makes us feel
better.

2. After being busy with something more important and you have
time to spare, this spare time can be used to attend to the
things on the pending list.

3. Delaying work that is difficult makes the work even more
difficult. A leak on the roof may not be harmful if it doesn't
rain; but once it rains, water goes into the house resulting
in wet floors and carpets and eventually, the extent of
damage could be more than can be imagined.

4. When we are not sure if work that needs to be done will be
effective, we must seek advice from people who are more
knowledgeable on this field. Procrastinating won't help.

5. Delayed work due to incomplete materials will remain delayed
unless we fill in the incomplete items. Again, procrastinating
won't help.

6. Make a list of all pending work in the house and post it on
the refrigerator door to constantly remind us about them.

Bottom line is:

We may feel lazy at times and tend to delay some work that
needs our attention. It's understandable that 'starting' to
get a job done is the most difficult part, but once you have
started, half of the job is already done and the second half
will be easy.

Every time you feel like procrastinating, picture yourself as
the job that needs to be done - like a prisoner wherein
justice being delayed results to justice being denied.

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Article provided by Michael Cobb. Visit Michael's Self Help, Self Improvement, Motivation and Personal Growth website at http://www.be-a-better-you.com/articles or the Self Help, Self Improvement, Motivation and Personal Growth Blog at http://be-a-better-you.blogspot.com for more great articles, tips and resourses.
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How To Criticize And Still Be Nice

Image via Wikipedia

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How To Criticize And Still Be Nice

Have you ever encountered an experience when someone told you
how fat you've become? Maybe your boss have commented on how
bad your work turned out to be. Maybe you've heard from other
folks how people view you as cold and unapproachable.

Hurts, doesn't it?

Believe it or not, some people can be so tactless that they
are not even aware when they've hurt anyone's feelings. The
receiving parties, especially the sensitive ones, would be
offended by their remarks. This would result in conflicts
and arguments.

You know you're doing them a big favor by saving them from
shame or disappointment, but would they realize your good
intentions instead of feeling hurt by your brutally frank
comments or advices?

They might probably think you're too rude or impolite.
But what can you do if you really need to assert an honest
criticism, but you're afraid of hurting others' feelings?

Want to know the secret?

All you have to do is sandwich your negative comment between
two positive remarks.

For example, your best friend Paul is going on his very first
date. He's all excited and raring to go. Now Paul doesn't
have any fashion sense. He's wearing a bland shirt and old
jeans. You know all along how he hates to admit that he's
wrong. So what will you do to save Paul from an embarassing
first date?

Would you say to him that the outfit he's wearing is
repulsive? That would hurt his ego.

Well, you can first point out the things that you like in his
overall appearance. Comment on his well-groomed hair. Tell
him he looks cool when wearing his sunglasses. Ask him where
he bought his perfume because it can certainly attract women
like bees to honey. Be sincere and honest.

Then, insert in a nice and suave manner your point of view
and advice. You can tell him something like:

"Your shirt seems to be very comfortable to wear, Paul. Since
this is your very first date, I think Sandra (his date) will be
much more impressed if you would wear something like the outfit
that you wore on my birthday. You look smashing when you put
on clothes like that."

Afterwards, make another positive statement. You could say
something like:

"You would definitely make a big impact on Sandra. She would
fall heads over heels over your gorgeous appearance and cheerful
personality. Have a great time on your date, Paul."

Do you think Paul would be offended by such pleasant comments?
Not a chance. You have wittingly inserted a slightly negative
feedback into a plethora of acceptable and ego-boosting
remarks.

People love compliments. They believe they got the qualities.
They want other people to intensify the great abilities that
they believe to possess. People wanted to hear their greatness
purported from someone else's mouth, and they would be very
glad if other individuals would know about it.

So if you want to criticize anybody, remember to praise him
first. It will leave a positive impression that you're a
nice guy. Then say what you have to say, but in a smooth
and non-offensive manner. Finalize with another positive
reinforcement to establish a foundation of goodwill.

Control Your Fear Before It Controls You

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Control Your Fear Before It Controls You

"Fear Factor" is one of my favorite TV shows. It
highlights the courage of the participants to engage in
the most fearsome and disgusting acts.

Most of the contestants are willing to sacrifice their
dignity for the sake of the prize money. So what does
that imply? It implies that with the proper mindset,
determination, and will power, you can conquer your fear.

Everyone has some sort of fear. It may be brought about
by any one or more of the following reasons.

1) by a traumatic past incident (like being bitten by a
dog)
2) by the influence of other people
3) by their own negative way of thinking

But are you going to let fear take over your life? Will
you remain a hostage of your fear forever?

You must take the necessary steps to overcome your fright.
It's all in the mind.

Do you envy other people when you see them enjoying wild
rides, and you're just stuck in a corner because you're
too terrified to give it a try?

My suggestion is to face your fear head-on. Imagine
yourself enjoying the experience instead of exaggerating
the things that make you worry. (Unless of course you
have health problems, then taking wild rides may not be
a good idea).

Do you want to be a doctor but you're afraid that your
intellect can't handle the pressure or you're worried
about financial insecurity?

Well here's the good news. If you're really determined
to achieve your deepest desires, a powerful force will
enable you to reach them amidst every obstacle that comes
in the way. I'm not kidding.

Someone or something will always be there to help you
attain your goals. Just have faith in your abilities.
Your will power have the utmost capacity to accomplish
anything with the proper mindset.

You could use visualization to help you in defeating
any kind of fear.

Are you afraid of heights? Then imagine yourself being on
top of a mountain, overseeing the magnificent sights. Enjoy
and feel the moment. Take away all worries and anxieties.

Then just do it! Face it head on! Go to the top of a
building and savor the great feeling of being able to
face your fear.

This applies to whatever thing that triggers your fear
factor. Just imagine being able to defeat it, then
confront it with the definite belief that you have the
capacity to do everything you want if you just put your
mind to it.

Face the thing you fear the most and you'll never have to
fear anything again in your life.

Build Your Self Esteem: a Starter Guide to Self Improvement

Cover of Build Your Self-Esteem

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Build Your Self Esteem: a Starter Guide to Self Improvement

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

A Better You: 7 Steps to Self-Improvement

Image via Wikipedia

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

A Better You: 7 Steps to Self-Improvement

I seem to lost count on how many times I've read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right. Not that I care (and personally I don't), it seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as flawless people, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality.

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite of how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self.

So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.

1. Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.

This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.

2. Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2005 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.

The number shouldn't discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.

3. Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it's too late!

4. Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.

5. Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There's sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.

6. Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.

7. Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.

Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn't always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

7 Stress Management Techniques

Image by xeeliz via Flickr

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

7 Stress Management Techniques

They say there's more than one way to skin a cat. The same goes when you start tearing your hair out with all the frustration, grief, anxiety, and yes, stress. It's a state of mental conditioning that is like taking that bitter pill down your throat, causing you to lose your sense of self, and worse your sanity. Just thinking about it can drive anyone off the edge.

And they say that the proactive ones are already living off the edge.

As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels, and believe me there are many variants when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can't blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what's bugging you anyway?

There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it out of your life one of these days. So I'll try to divide it into a seven-day course for you and I promise it's not going to be too taxing on the body, as well as on the mind.

1. Acknowledge stress is good
Make stress your friend! Based on the body's natural "fight or flight" response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I've yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.

2. Avoid stress sneezers
Stressed people sneeze stress germs indiscriminately and before you know it, you are infected too!

Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you've got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.

3. Learn from the best
When people around are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced?
Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.

4. Practice socially acceptable heavy breathing
This is something I've learned from a gym instructor: You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

5. Give stressy thoughts the red light
It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. "If this happens, then that might happen and then we're all up the creek!" Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?

Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong - how likely is that, and what can you do to prevent it?

6. Know your trigger points and hot spots
Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines…. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!

Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?

Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaf?

7. Burn the candle at one end
Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it's often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don't burn the candle at both ends!

So having stress can be a total drag, but that should not hinder us to find the inner peace of mind that we have wanted for a long time. In any case, one could always go to the Bahamas and bask under the summer sun.

4 Powerful Ways To Fire Up Your Motivation

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

4 Powerful Ways To Fire Up Your Motivation

It's so difficult to go on when everything seems to fail, isn't
it? Are there times in your life when you really want to call
it "quits" because you just can't see any good results from all
the hard work you've done?

Hold your horses!

Never ever think of giving up. Winners never quit and quitters
never win. Take all negative words out of your mental dictionary
and focus on the solutions with utmost conviction and patience.
The battle is never lost until you've abandon your vision.

But what if you're really exhausted physically, mentally, and
most of all emotionally? Here are some sources of motivation
to prompt you in reaching the peak of accomplishment.

1) The Overwhelming Feeling of Attaining your Desired End

How would you feel after accomplishing your mission? Of course
you will feel ecstatic. You might be shedding tears of joy. Let
this tremendous feeling sink in and encourage you to persist
despite all odds.

When I was studying for the Board Exams, I used this technique
to motivate me. I would envision the sweetness of folks calling
me a CPA. It would command respect. People will look up to
me as a higher level of authority. And I would have better
chances of finding a good job. I absorbed all these great
perceptions into my inner being in order to achieve my ultimate
goal.

2) The Reward System

How would you feel if you've entered a contest, but there are no
prizes for the winners? It's not very encouraging, isn't it?

The same principles apply to your vision. Reward yourself after
accomplishing a goal. Set a particular incentive for every
objective.

Let's say if you've achieved a particular task, you'll treat
yourself to your favorite restaurant. When you've finished
a bigger task, you'll go on a vacation.

Got the idea?

Just set something gratifying to indulge in after completing
a certain undertaking.

3) The Powerful Force of Humanity

If you want to succeed, surround yourself with the right
kind of people who will support and encourage you all the
way.

Be with people who have the same beliefs and aspirations as
yours. Positive aura is generated by this fusion of
collective energy from people of "like minds."

On the contrary, being with people who oppose your ways of
thinking may trigger a negative, yet very powerful, kind of
motivation.

Has anyone ever said to you that "You'll never get anywhere"
or "You're wasting your time with what you're doing?"

Didn't it made you furious and determined enough to prove to
them how wrong they were? This is what I'm talking about.

When aggravated, you will do anything to make those who are
against you swallow their words. But of course, your main
focus should be on the accomplishment of your goal and not
for the purpose of revenge. Never let your emotions toward
others alter your main objective.

4) Take Care Of Your Health

Exercise regularly. Fill your brains with enough oxygen to
allow you to do your daily tasks with more vigor and energy.

Take regular breaks if time allows. Having the will power
to continue despite all hardships is extremely important, but
you should still know your limits.

If you don't take enough rest, you will not be able to think
clearly and you will not be able to do your tasks properly.
In the process, you will just get more frustrated.

Take sufficient sleep and recharge yourself after a hard day's
work. Never, ever ignore your health. I've learned my lesson
when I sacrificed my health for the sake of success. I've
worked very long hours everyday and just got minimal sleep.
As a result, I became ill.

It's not worth it. Success won't matter if you don't have
good health to enjoy it.

Fire up your motivation and live life to the fullest!

Life Choices and the Decisions We Make

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Life Choices and the Decisions We Make

Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.

Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad. With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?

There are no guarantees.

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent. There are too many possible outcomes, which your really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would act and react to different situations.

Wrong decisions are always at hindsight.

Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong.

Take the risk: decide.

Since life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, moreover open more roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveller or an accidental tourist of life. But take caution that you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:
· Get as many information as you can about your situation.

You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

· Identify and create options.

What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end.

· Weigh the pros and cons of every option.

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option.

· Trust yourself and make that decision.

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always at hindsight. So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.

Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.

Live Your Life to the Fullest

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Live Your Life to the Fullest

Do you sometimes feel that you're living a boring life? You
just can't seem to find anything exciting.

You wake up in the morning, then do the same old rituals.
You go to the office or to school. You meet the same people,
do the same job, travel the same road, booooring. Next
day, same story.

Do you want a change in your life? The solution is YOU!
You're the master of your destiny. You decide if you want
to have a change or not.

Take the situation of a high school graduate. He have 2
choices - to continue through college or earn money working
as a clerk.

He's intimidated by the difficulties of studying, thesis, etc.
He doesn't think he will pass the exams because he thinks he's
below average. He doesn't like to take the risk of failing
college and earning no money at present.

So he works as a clerk earning meager income. He's happy
because he's earning money at such a young age while his
friends are having a hard time.

But then his friends graduated and got high-paying jobs. He
envies them. If only he have sacrificed a few years and
faced all the challenges of college, then he could've had
a better life. If only he had taken the risk!

There are also some people who want to improve their lives,
but they're just too afraid to come out of their comfort
zones and explore the endless opportunities out there.

Yes, there may be challenges and problems; but if you try
your best to move forward, you'll get more out of life.

Explore and diversify. Take a different route to work,
eat exotic foods you've never tasted, do something
outrageous (not dangerous).

Life could be exciting. It's your choice. Are you
satisfied with your life right now? If not, then you
need to do the things that you think will make your
life complete and meaningful.

You've got only one life to live. Maximize every opportunity.
Go out and do those things which will leave lasting memories
in your mind. Live every day as if it's your last.

Seize every moment!

Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?

People of two opposing ideas can stir up arguments
and fights. It's that situation when one thinks
he has the right concept while the other one also
believes he has the proper notion. Both of them
would try to outsmart each other until one claims
victory.

Here's an actual example.

My spouse would sometimes buy me signature
clothing. When my Mom founds out how much it costs,
she would advise us to budget our money and just buy
the affordable ones.

A problem occurs when my spouse thinks that her effort
to give me the best was unappreciated. Mom, on
the other hand, would think that my spouse is such
a spender.

There's a conflict with their beliefs. No two
people are exactly alike. We are totally unique;
not only physically, but mentally and emotionally
as well.

There will be many times when your opinion will not
correspond with that of another. So how can people
prevent this kind of conflict from occurring?

Communication is the key to overcome doubts and
misunderstandings.

You should let other people know what's in your mind.
Don't keep them guessing.

There was a story about two couples who were filing
a divorce. After the lawyer have spoken to them
both, he found out that the root cause of all their
problems was due to miscommunication.

Here's one of the couple's problems.

The man filing the divorce said that he just hated
the breakfast meal that his wife often prepared for
him. On the other hand, the wife said that she's
only preparing the meal because she thought it was
her husband's favorite. But she never liked cooking
it because it's very difficult to prepare.

See? If only one of them took the initiative to
speak out what's in his or her mind, then that
particular dilemma would be over.

Now why would people prefer to keep their complaints
and criticisms to themselves? What's holding them
back?

It's because they do not want to be rejected. Most,
people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to
be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others.

So can you get your message across without hurting
their feelings?

Substitute negative statements with positive ones.

Instead of saying "You don't understand," say "Let
me explain." Instead of remarking "You're wrong,"
say "Permit me to clarify." Instead of stating
"You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps this was
not stated."

There are certain words that affect a person more
negatively in comparison with other words that have
the same meaning.

Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than
hearing someone else say that you are right. In
this case, be prepared to let other people know that
you respect their opinions. You may add your comments
at the end, but acknowledge them first.

Say:
You're right, although ...
Great suggestion, however ...
I agree with your opinion, however ...
I would feel the same way if I were you, although ...
I understand your situation, however ...

Reassure your counterparts that the decision made will
benefit both parties. People need to feel that they
have made the right choice.

Communication is a gift. Use it wisely for everyone's
advantage.

Our Worst Enemy

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Our Worst Enemy

Who do you consider as your worst enemy? The criminals roaming
the dark streets? Your boss who's killing you mentally and
emotionally with stress and harsh words? The people in office
who are engaging in graft and corruption, instead of helping
those in need?

We have many implications of who our enemies are; but we have
one common foe who is the main cause of our failures and
misfortunes, and we're not even aware of this opponent.

You may not want to admit it, but our worst enemy is ourselves.

Who do you blame when something goes wrong? You blame the people
around you, the weather, maybe even God. But we are the ones who
are in control of ourselves. We can change the outcome of our
lives because we have the capacity to do that.

It is our fear, jealousy, greed, etc. that is ruining our lives.
Some people who never managed to get out of poverty blame the
government or their jobs. But they're too afraid to try out
new ventures that may improve their lives. They half-heartedly
go to work on their 9 to 5 job. Then when the day is done, they
watch TV and go out aimlessly having fun without seriously
thinking of what great opportunity the future has in store for
them, if only they would try to do something different with their
lives.

Fear has caused many to remain frigid and to never go out
exploring the wonderful things this world has to offer.
Lots of people would rather stay where they are in an
unsatisfied state than to risk difficulties and obstacles
for the sake of attaining their dreams.

If their lives are not getting any better, they have no else
to blame but themselves.

Jealousy and envy has also caused some relationship problems.
Some people immediately jump to conclusions without first
analyzing the situation. They let their sudden emotions
control their behaviors without even thinking of the
consequences that may result.

If they're having problems with their relationships, they
have no else to blame but themselves.

This goes to show that we decide what will happen to us. Of
course, there are circumstances that are beyond our control,
like natural calamities. But we can still utilize to our best
advantage the things that we have control of.

For instance, you got rejected by your dream girl. Some
people would just get drunk and feel miserable, thinking that
it's the end of the world. Some will move onwards with their
lives and find the best in what remains with them. See? It's
really up to you. You decide if you want to have a good life
or not.

You failed in your exams? So what? There's another
opportunity. You can just sulk in sorrow or you can study
harder to get a high score in the future. It's up to you.

There's no use crying over spilled milk. You don't have to
get frustrated over your misfortunes. Concentrate on how
you could get better in the future.

If we encounter problems, we can either succumb to it, or we
can treat it as an opportunity to become stronger and to
become better individuals. Winners would always treat their
dilemmas as opportunities.

Oh yes. We can be our worst enemy, but we can also be our
best friend. It's all up to you!

Positive Thinking: A 7 Step Guide

Image via Wikipedia

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Positive Thinking: A 7 Step Guide

I'm sure you have a bright idea hidden somewhere in the back of your mind that you just can't wait to test out. Of course you're not the only one with the bright idea. So what motivates you to churn those creative, or even inspiring juices to its utmost flavor?

It's always best to set up a personal goal where you can accomplish the most in record time, maybe like mowing the lawn in an hour before the big game on TV. A correct and positive attitude in whatever you do will make things easier, and even enjoyable.

Here are some tips to make it through the week even if you're just sitting in your favorite couch. An idea takes time to form in your head and is always at work while you are busy sitting.

Having a bit of positive thinking can help you realize things that are never thought possible. Thinking big is indeed the American Way and that what made our country prosperous.

1. Take passionate action towards living your life by design. Talk is cheap. Action = deposits in the bank of a passionately authentic future. Without it, passion is void.

This is a perfect example where dreams are made of where you start by tinkering with your mind, then with your hands. And if the idea weakens, you can always go back to it later until you finish it.

2. Commit to yourself as well as those you love to create powerfully a life you can love. Instead of reacting, commit to creating from your heart and soul, out of love rather than fear. The American Dream will always be there, but a dream will still be a dream without motion. Be amazed as the transformation begins.

3. Recognize and embrace the thought that each moment is perfect regardless of its outcome. Every time you hit on something that may appear too extreme, why not give it a shot and see if it will work. You will be surprised to see of there are other ways to get the task done in time. If you are not pleased with the outcome, decide to use that moment to learn from and make the appropriate shift.

4. Dwell completely in a place of gratitude. Learn to utilize what you have in your hands and make use of it in the most constructive way. Slipping into neediness will become less of a habit when you repeatedly shift towards gratitude, away from poverty consciousness.

5. Use a Passion Formula of Recognize/Reevaluate/Restore in place of the Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda whirlwind. The former is based in increased knowledge and abundance while the latter focuses on scarcity and lack. As you face people or tasks that may seem harder than scaling the summit of the Himalayas, allow yourself to realize that the task is just as important as giving out orders to your subordinates. You would rather be richly passionate!

6. Keep humor at the forefront of thought, laughing at and with yourself when possible. You may find yourself quite entertaining when you loosen up! I am yet to see a comedian ever go hungry even though his jokes are as 'old as great-grandma'. Life has so much to offer to allow you to mope around in self pity. Humor is very attractive, very passionate: life-giving.

7. Believe that you are the architect of your destiny. No one can take your passionate future from you except for you! Create your life authentically. As long as there's still breath in your body, there is no end to how much you can accomplish in a lifetime. The concept of thinking big is all about enjoying your work, which would lead to celebrate a discovery that is born within your hands. Watch everything flow into place with perfect, passionate precision.

It's interesting how people get wallowed up by something trivial as learning to use a computer, when nowadays that top computer companies are manufacturing software that even the kids can do it. I don't mean to be condescending, but that's the idea of not having any positive thinking in your life-you'll just end up as a dim bulb in a dark corner. So instead of subjecting yourself to what you will be doomed for, make your path by taking the first step with a positive attitude.

Be A Better You

Categories

Helpful Tips to Overcome Procrastination

How To Criticize And Still Be Nice

Control Your Fear Before It Controls You

Build Your Self Esteem: a Starter Guide to Self Improvement

A Better You: 7 Steps to Self-Improvement

7 Stress Management Techniques

4 Powerful Ways To Fire Up Your Motivation

Life Choices and the Decisions We Make

Life Choices and the Decisions We Make

Live Your Life to the Fullest

Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?

Our Worst Enemy

Positive Thinking: A 7 Step Guide

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