Be A Better You: Anger

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Building Solid Relationships Using the Power of Words

We may not be aware of it; but the words we utter daily
may have different interpretations, even if you think that
they mean the same thing.

Here's an example.

Would you rather have someone tell you that you are "slim,"
or would you like to hear that you are "thin?" Being slim
has a slightly positive effect because it is attributed to
health and fitness.

Rather than saying you have failed, just mention that you
have not yet achieved success. Get the picture? Always
try to speak words in the most positive manner you can
think of.

Here's another important advice.

Never compare the negative qualities of one person with
another.

A former boss of mine has this to say to me when I made
an error in my previous day job, "James (not real name) is
doing a much better job than you are. He's not committing
any mistake like you do."

That crushed my heart. My boss thought this would motivate
me to do better. Nope, it just hurt my feelings and lowered
my self-esteem. Of course, I would never make the same
mistake again after her harsh scolding. I've learned my
lesson well. But she could have said it nicely.

Experiences arising from discouragement and condemnation
will have a negative effect on the recipient.

Some parents might believe that instilling fear on their
children would improve their performance. They would
say, "You're always failing. Why can't you be like your
brother? You're such a disgrace to this family."

Now that's not the proper way to do it. They should inspire,
encourage, and motivate their children; not belittle them
even further.

They should tell their children that they have the capacity
to achieve great things, if they would only put a little more
effort. Teach them values that would make them feel important
and loved.

You may even go as far as giving them qualities that they
do not yet possess. By giving them confidence and by making
them believe that they have such characteristics, they will
eventually acquire such traits. Tell them how bright you
think they are, and you will soon be surprised at the
results. They will significantly improve if you firmly made
them believe that they have the capacity to do so.

So if you ever wanted to persuade or encourage someone to do
better, make sure that he or she is motivated out of
inspiration, and not out of fear. Give advice that cares,
and not offensive words borne out of hatred or anger.

Think first before you speak. Many relationships have been
ruined by the wrong choice of words. Some people voice out
anything that comes to their mind, without first filtering
the good words from the bad ones. This might result in
misunderstandings and arguments, which could have easily
been prevented if we speak out in a way that is neutral
and non-offensive.

Words are very powerful indeed. Use them responsibly for
the benefit of all.

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Article provided by Michael Cobb. Visit Michael's Self Help, Self Improvement, Motivation and Personal Growth website at http://www.be-a-better-you.com/articles or the Self Help, Self Improvement, Motivation and Personal Growth Blog at http://be-a-better-you.blogspot.com for more great articles, tips and resourses.
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Image by mckibillo via Flickr

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

7 Incredible Lifesaving Tips to Manage Your Anger

Experiencing anger is extremely dangerous to your health. It
causes your adrenaline and blood pressure to rise up at above
normal levels. Moreover, you could end up hurting someone or
doing something that you will regret later on.

Here are 7 fantastic tips to help you be the one in control of
yourself, and not the hazardous madman called "Anger."

1) Relax and visualize.

Calm yourself down. Take a deep breath. As you exhale, imagine
all those bottled-up fury come out of your nose and mouth.
Release it and be free. Repeat this step over and over until
you feel peace inside.

Then visualize being in a place where you feel most happy, calm,
and relaxed. It may be a place like a beach, garden, scenic
locations, or anywhere else you might think of. Just imagine
being there and inhaling the essence of your serene environment.
By doing this, you will not find it hard to attain inner peace.

2) Pour out your anger to safe outlets.

You had a big quarrel with your former friend. He betrayed your
trust. You want vengeance and you're raving mad.

Hold it. Restrain yourself.

Try your best to get away from him as far as you can. You don't
want to hurt anyone. Anger can possess your brain into doing
something that you wouldn't dare do before.

How do you then release your anger if you can't restrict it
anymore?

Buy a punching bag, then pour out all your rage in it. Punch it,
kick it, strangle it. Imagine the punching bag is your enemy.
When you're done, you will feel a sense of satisfaction. You may
even punch and kick through thin air if you desire.

Another way to release it is "SHOUT!" Find a distant place where
you can be alone - a place where no one can hear you. At the top
of your voice, yell out loud "Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh."
You can choose any word you like as long as you release all those
angry demons out of your chest.

3) Forgive and forget.

Nothing could ease your mental and emotional pains better than
by forgiving someone that has hurt you in the past. It is very
unhealthy to burden yourself with unnecessary torture brought
about by unpleasant memories of other people's demeaning acts.

Moreover, if they have taken something important away from you,
would it make sense to also sacrifice your health and lifestyle?
Of course not.

4) Exercise.

Engaging in exercises increases your endorphins. Your angry
mood could miraculously change to a happy one if you get involved
in exercises that you enjoy doing.

5) Have a circle of "sponge" friends.

Do you feel relieved when you voice out all your problems to close
friends and relatives? That's the power of voicing out your inner
feelings.

Always have someone to talk to when you're down, when you're
depressed, when you're mad, or in any other occasion when you feel
you have to get the thorns out of your chest.

6) Listen to soothing music.

It calms your soul. A 20 minute session of listening to relaxing
music while resting comfortably could soothe the upset spirit.
Take deep breaths often.

7) Pray.

Deadly consequences arise when people could not hold back their
fury. Ask for guidance that you will be able to control your temper.
Prayers bring inner peace to those who ask for it.

There you have it - 7 essential rules to release yourself from the
treacherous killer known as "Anger." Manage your anger, save your
life.

Be A Better You

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