Be A Better You: 2009

Every Problem Has a Solution: Adventures in Creative Thinking

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Every Problem Has a Solution: Adventures in Creative Thinking

How many times have you caught yourself saying that there could be no other solution to a problem – and that that problem leads to a dead end? How many times have you felt stumped knowing that the problem laying before you is one you cannot solve. No leads. No options. No solutions.

Did it feel like you had exhausted all possible options and yet are still before the mountain – large, unconquerable, and impregnable? When encountering such enormous problems, you may feel like you're hammering against a steel mountain. The pressure of having to solve such a problem may be overwhelming.

But rejoice! There might be some hope yet!

With some creative problem-solving techniques you may be able to look at your problem in a different light. And that light might just be the end of the tunnel that leads to possible solutions.

First of all, in the light of creative problem-solving, you must be open-minded to the fact that there may be more than just one solution to the problem. And, you must be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems you thought were unsolvable.

Now, with this optimistic mindset, we can try to be a little bit more creative in solving our problems.

Number one; maybe the reason we cannot solve our problems is that we have not really taken a hard look at what the problem is. Here, trying to understanding the problem and having a concrete understanding of its workings is integral solving the problem. If you know how it works, what the problem is, then you have a better foundation towards solving the problem.

Not trying to make the simple statement of what problem is. Try to identify the participating entities and what their relationships with one another are. Take note of the things you stand to gain any stand to lose from the current problem. Now you have a simple statement of what the problem is.

Number two; try to take note of all of the constraints and assumptions you have the words of problem. Sometimes it is these assumptions that obstruct our view of possible solutions. You have to identify which assumptions are valid, in which assumptions need to be addressed.

Number three; try to solve the problem by parts. Solve it going from general view towards the more detailed parts of the problem. This is called the top-down approach. Write down the question, and then come up with a one-sentence solution to that from them. The solution should be a general statement of what will solve the problem. From here you can develop the solution further, and increase its complexity little by little.

Number four; although it helps to have critical thinking aboard as you solve a problem, you must also keep a creative, analytical voice at the back of your head. When someone comes up with a prospective solution, tried to think how you could make that solution work. Try to be creative. At the same time, look for chinks in the armor of that solution.

Number five; it pays to remember that there may be more than just one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all the solutions and their developments. Remember, there may be more than just one solution to the problem.

Number six; remember that old adage," two heads are better than one." That one is truer than it sounds. Always be open to new ideas. You can only benefit from listening to all the ideas each person has. This is especially true when the person you're talking to has had experience solving problems similar to yours.

You don't have to be a gung-ho, solo hero to solve the problem. If you can organize collective thought on the subject, it would be much better.

Number seven; be patient. As long as you persevere, there is always a chance that a solution will present itself. Remember that no one was able to create an invention the first time around.

Creative thinking exercises can also help you in your quest be a more creative problems solver.

Here is one example.

Take a piece of paper and write any word that comes to mind at the center. Now look at that word then write the first two words that come to your mind. This can go on until you can build a tree of related words. This helps you build analogical skills, and fortify your creative processes.

So, next time you see a problem you think you can not solve, think again. The solution might just be staring you right in the face. All it takes is just a little creative thinking, some planning, and a whole lot of work.

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Article provided by Michael Cobb. Visit Michael's Self Help, Self Improvement, Motivation and Personal Growth website at http://www.be-a-better-you.com/articles or the Self Help, Self Improvement, Motivation and Personal Growth Blog at http://be-a-better-you.blogspot.com for more great articles, tips and resourses.
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Genuine Happiness from Within

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Genuine Happiness from Within

Life isn’t the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is just too heavy, I look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?” Then I pause and observed for awhile… I figured out that maybe, they start to work on a place called ‘self’.

So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.

My theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.” To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”

When we discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life lit it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, wining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.

How to be genuinely happy in spite all these? I tell you… every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy? Every one has his own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as much best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”.For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.

Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy?”. I’ll refer you to a friend of mine who strongly quoted- “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.”

How Natural Medicine Can Help You

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By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How Natural Medicine Can Help You

When you get sick, you go to the doctor. And the doctor will, of course, prescribe medicines. You will go and buy medicines. You take them, and hopefully, you get well.

This is how the health profession goes on nowadays – a cycle of diagnosis and prescription.

If anyone were to give you herbs for medicine, you would probably say that that person was a quack.

But nowadays, studies are being conducted to see if there are really is any merit to what is called natural medicine.

Natural medicine is the use of natural methods, herbal medicines, and traditional practices to heal ailments. Every culture has a form of natural medicine. In ancient cultures, village medicine men served as the doctors of the community, passing on medical knowledge to the apprentices that followed them.

Many categories of the healing methods fall under natural medicine. Among these are traditional medicine, complementary medicine, and alternative medicine.

Usually, natural medicine refers to medical practices that were in place before the advent of modern medicine.

This includes herbal medicine, or phytotherapy, which is prevalent in Chinese, Ayurvedic(or Indian), and Greek medicine.

Upon the advent of modern medicine, many professionals discarded the use of herbs in favor of man-made medicine. The fact that these treatments are based on the healing properties of some herbs was forgotten.

For example, opium, digitalis, quinine, and aspirin all have their roots in traditional medicine.

Natural medicine can be considered as a lost art. This does not mean that it has lost efficacy over time. In some cases, natural therapy is actually better than modern medicine. This leads some doctors to seriously consider and study the possible uses of natural medicine

Before we continue, it is important to stress that not all the natural remedies are legitimate. It would help to only try those remedies which have been thoroughly studied and are relatively risk free.

Take herbal medicine for example. There are many well-documented and studied herbal remedies available. However, only those that deal with minor ailments such as cough, colds, fever, skin rashes, and its ilk are likely to be recommended by health professionals. These remedies are sometimes superior to synthetic medicine. This is because herbal medicines are less likely to cause negative side effects.

Currently there are numerous organizations that study the effects and advocacy of natural medicine – among which is herbal medicine. Some governments and health agencies openly advocate the use of natural methods since they are inexpensive and relatively risk-free.

As their studies compile, more herbs and treatments are added to the list of accepted medicines. However, many herbs and treatments have been proven to be bogus medicine. This represents a challenge for both the user and the agencies because they have to ascertain that the treatments they either use or advocate are legitimate.

There exist today many alternative medical treatments that fall under natural medicine. However, not all of them have been proven to be effective. You could mention homeopathy, aromatherapy, acupuncture, and other alternative medical treatments. It would pay to consult the experts as to the legitimacy of these treatments.

Natural medicine should also be thought of as an accompanying medicine. Right now, the current collective medical thought suggests that natural medicine be used only to supplement accepted modern medical practices. In that case of minor ailments your expert we actually advise you to take natural therapies instead.

The practice of modern medicine revolves around diagnosing an illness and prescribing treatments for such. Natural medicine is helpful because it suggests that treatment be not necessarily given only when sick. Natural medicine strives to make each patient practice good health habits. These habits include good diet, healthy living, and the regular natural treatment.

It is this same line of thought that leads our parents to tell us to eat our vegetables. Yes, a healthy lifestyle and will do no harm to our well-being. And this is the foundation of natural medicine – may it be massage, herbal medicine, aromatherapy or others.

It is funny but true that science, in its quest for excellence, is studying the knowledge of sages past. This, surprisingly, leads us back to the remedies nature offers. The possibilities of finding remedies to everyday illnesses in natural medicine are encouraging. So staying tuned to studying these remedies is worthwhile until we can verify that these therapies are truly helpful to our health and our society.

How to Become the Person of Your Dreams

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By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How to Become the Person of Your Dreams

“What would you like to be when you grow up?” I bet you often hear this question asked many times when you were still young. But have you given this question some deep thoughts?

Different people have different dreams. So what’s your aspiration? Do you want to become a doctor, lawyer, pilot, or entertainer? Or would you want to be like Tom Cruise or Bill Gates? Let me tell you now, you can become what you want to become. You can be anything you want to be as long as you put your mind and heart to it.

Here are some tips and words of encouragement to keep you all fired up.

Learn as much as possible about the person you aspire to be. Let’s say you dream to become a basketball player. Gather all facts and information about the sport. Research on the internet, read books, watch the games and analyze team strategies; in other words, strive to be an expert.

You must have the desire and passion to know everything you can about the subject. If you can have a real person to imitate or look up to, the better. For example, you may see yourself as Michael Jordan (for basketball), Mariah Carey (for singing), or Heide Klum (for modeling). Feel, talk, and act as if you’re that person you’re emulating. You’ll quickly acquire the behavior and qualities of that person. This formula works like a charm, so just give it a try.

Take motivated action and start pursuing your dreams. Don’t wait for everything to be perfect. That will never happen. There will always be bumps and obstacles ahead. The important thing is to start right now and adjust along the way.

Persist until the very end. Never let failures distract you. Just keep pushing yourself to the limit. If you think that a task seems impossible to accomplish, banish that thought immediately. Your mind has the capacity to bring into reality anything you desire. As long as you stay focused and patient on your objective despite any setbacks or discouragements, you will become successful much sooner than you may think.

How to Save Yourself from Negative Influences

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By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How to Save Yourself from Negative Influences

Watching the news can be hazardous to your health.

It's a fact, especially when you're watching events related
to terrorism, kidnapping, murder, accidents, or calamities.
These incidents make you worry and will leave you feeling weak
and insecure. Imagine the uncomfortable feeling of becoming a
victim someday. This will have a negative effect on your
outlook in life.

Your surroundings have a big impact on you. How can you think
and grow rich if you're bombarded with messages that relates
"how difficult life has become" or "how poor most of us has
turned out to be?"

You can't change your environment, but you certainly can
control your mind. This is where visualization comes into
play. Use your imagination, just as you would when you're
still a little child. Imagine your home as a palace, your
simple meal as fine dining gourmet, and your nearby park as
your favorite vacation spot. Just imagine. Unconsciously,
your thoughts will transform the images into their physical
components.

If the media can indirectly influence you just by reporting
what's happening around, imagine what impact everyday people
have on you. These are the people that you see and meet
everyday. These are also the same people who are expressing
their own views of what is right and what is wrong.

When we grow up in a negative environment, we tend to acquire
the traits and characteristics of people around us.

Many gangsters have been brought up by folks who have either
misguided them or have taught them the wrong things in life.
Through the years, they have instilled within themselves the
vices of people around them.

Here's another case.

Pick a nice person, throw him in a group of bad-mouthed
individuals who incorporates swear words in their everyday
language. Sooner or later, you'll notice that nice person
speaking in the same manner as the group.

This just goes to say that anyone who joins in the company
of a like-minded group will have a big chance of being
influenced by the personality of that group. So what
can you do if you're surrounded by people who deviates
from your way of thinking?

You can't just avoid them. They'll think of you as a snob.
Don't change the way you treat them, but simply learn how
to shield out pessimistic comments or suggestions.

Sometimes, they will dictate you to do what you are against
to do. Be firm with what you believe in. Do not let them
affect your decisions. You know that you can do what they
thought would be impossible. If you have to suffer the
ridicule, so be it. You will have the last laugh anyway.

Moreover, you should be with people who have the same
principles and ideologies as you do. You will be more
encouraged to continue your dreams if you have a support
group or mentor who will prod you to pursue your goals
despite the setbacks.

When I was starting my internet endeavors, no one (and
I mean not even one) of my relatives and friends believed
me. But I did not let their discouragement stop me from
becoming successful.

I remained firm in my quest to make a living online. I
made friends with respected internet marketers who shared
the same vision as mine. They have also experienced the
same treatment from non-believers; but they have proven
that what the mind can conceive, it can achieve. Through
their help, I was able to put aside my doubts and achieve
my goals.

You have the power to make your dreams a reality. Now
show the world what stuff you are made of.

How to Visualize and Affirm Your Deepest Desires

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By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How to Visualize and Affirm Your Deepest Desires

It's been a long time since I played basketball. But I have a passion for it. Everyday I would think that I am making jump shots from every angle of the court. Then I would also imagine that I've won the championship, that I'm also the highest scorer in the game. I would really love to play again, but I'm too busy with my job & other stuffs.

Then the opportunity came when my friends invited me to play. I haven't been practicing, but I'm making more accurate shots than those who have been playing every day.

What made the difference?

Well, that's the power of imagination & visualization. If you want to be a lawyer, visualize as one. Act like one. Think of what suit you’re wearing, the judge you’re convincing, the case you're handling, and the courtroom you’re in. Visualize the evidences. Smell the victory. Make everything real.

You should also affirm. Believe that you are what you are visualizing. So you want to be a lawyer? Tell yourself, "I'm the best lawyer in the world." Don't say to yourself, "I will be the best lawyer in the world."

Affirm strongly. Say "I am," not "I will," because "I will" suggests something that will occur only in the future. You have to experience it NOW, not in the future.

You must sink into your subconscious your deepest desire. The subconscious mind can do what the conscious mind cannot.
Here's an exercise.

1. Get a comfortable & quiet place to rest.

2. Relax your whole body. Command every part of your body to relax starting from your feet up to your head.

3. Count back slowly from 20 to 1, where in each count you relax deeper & deeper. Upon reaching 1, you are completely relaxed.

4. Now affirm your deepest desire. If you want to be a lawyer, say," I am the greatest lawyer in the world." As you're saying that, picture yourself to be the best lawyer ever, winning every case you've come across. You may say "I am now explaining to the jury my winning proposition" or anything that will affirm what you're conceiving in your mind as of the moment.

5. After about 10 to 20 minutes of continuous confirmation and visualization, count slowly from 1 to 20. Upon counting, slowly be aware of your surroundings. Feel refreshed and invigorated after doing this exercise.

6. Repeat this exercise everyday.

What you have just learned is a very powerful technique to greatly enhance the power of visualization & affirmation by imbedding it into the subconscious. What once is nearly impossible to achieve will become easier to reach from now on.

Helpful Tips to Overcome Procrastination

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Helpful Tips to Overcome Procrastination

Many among us, on many instances, have the habit of putting
aside to a later time or day some things that needs to be done
or acted upon like a project, work, job, or duty. For purposes
of discussion, we will confine ourselves to procrastination on
repair works typically at home. It equates to other
circumstances as well.

Procrastination is one habit that is hard to beat. We
procrastinate for various reasons:

1. When we think that the work that needs to be done can
afford to wait or be delayed.

2. When we are busy with something else we think is more
important.

3. When we do not like the work involved or when it is
difficult to do.

4. When we are not sure if the work that needs to be done
will be effective.

5. When the things needed in the work are not yet available
or incomplete.

6. When we forget about it.

And many other reasons like laziness or a combination of the
above.

Hard to beat as it is, we stand to gain more and virtually
loose nothing if we overturn this habit.

Check out these helpful tips:

1. When we think that a work can afford to be delayed, it can
also afford not to be delayed. By having the work done without
further delay, we feel a sigh of relief making the load of work
on our back lesser or lighter, which eventually makes us feel
better.

2. After being busy with something more important and you have
time to spare, this spare time can be used to attend to the
things on the pending list.

3. Delaying work that is difficult makes the work even more
difficult. A leak on the roof may not be harmful if it doesn't
rain; but once it rains, water goes into the house resulting
in wet floors and carpets and eventually, the extent of
damage could be more than can be imagined.

4. When we are not sure if work that needs to be done will be
effective, we must seek advice from people who are more
knowledgeable on this field. Procrastinating won't help.

5. Delayed work due to incomplete materials will remain delayed
unless we fill in the incomplete items. Again, procrastinating
won't help.

6. Make a list of all pending work in the house and post it on
the refrigerator door to constantly remind us about them.

Bottom line is:

We may feel lazy at times and tend to delay some work that
needs our attention. It's understandable that 'starting' to
get a job done is the most difficult part, but once you have
started, half of the job is already done and the second half
will be easy.

Every time you feel like procrastinating, picture yourself as
the job that needs to be done - like a prisoner wherein
justice being delayed results to justice being denied.

How To Criticize And Still Be Nice

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By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How To Criticize And Still Be Nice

Have you ever encountered an experience when someone told you
how fat you've become? Maybe your boss have commented on how
bad your work turned out to be. Maybe you've heard from other
folks how people view you as cold and unapproachable.

Hurts, doesn't it?

Believe it or not, some people can be so tactless that they
are not even aware when they've hurt anyone's feelings. The
receiving parties, especially the sensitive ones, would be
offended by their remarks. This would result in conflicts
and arguments.

You know you're doing them a big favor by saving them from
shame or disappointment, but would they realize your good
intentions instead of feeling hurt by your brutally frank
comments or advices?

They might probably think you're too rude or impolite.
But what can you do if you really need to assert an honest
criticism, but you're afraid of hurting others' feelings?

Want to know the secret?

All you have to do is sandwich your negative comment between
two positive remarks.

For example, your best friend Paul is going on his very first
date. He's all excited and raring to go. Now Paul doesn't
have any fashion sense. He's wearing a bland shirt and old
jeans. You know all along how he hates to admit that he's
wrong. So what will you do to save Paul from an embarassing
first date?

Would you say to him that the outfit he's wearing is
repulsive? That would hurt his ego.

Well, you can first point out the things that you like in his
overall appearance. Comment on his well-groomed hair. Tell
him he looks cool when wearing his sunglasses. Ask him where
he bought his perfume because it can certainly attract women
like bees to honey. Be sincere and honest.

Then, insert in a nice and suave manner your point of view
and advice. You can tell him something like:

"Your shirt seems to be very comfortable to wear, Paul. Since
this is your very first date, I think Sandra (his date) will be
much more impressed if you would wear something like the outfit
that you wore on my birthday. You look smashing when you put
on clothes like that."

Afterwards, make another positive statement. You could say
something like:

"You would definitely make a big impact on Sandra. She would
fall heads over heels over your gorgeous appearance and cheerful
personality. Have a great time on your date, Paul."

Do you think Paul would be offended by such pleasant comments?
Not a chance. You have wittingly inserted a slightly negative
feedback into a plethora of acceptable and ego-boosting
remarks.

People love compliments. They believe they got the qualities.
They want other people to intensify the great abilities that
they believe to possess. People wanted to hear their greatness
purported from someone else's mouth, and they would be very
glad if other individuals would know about it.

So if you want to criticize anybody, remember to praise him
first. It will leave a positive impression that you're a
nice guy. Then say what you have to say, but in a smooth
and non-offensive manner. Finalize with another positive
reinforcement to establish a foundation of goodwill.

How To Use The Past, Future, And Present In Attaining Success

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How To Use The Past, Future, And Present In Attaining Success

Did you know that your past, present, and future can affect directly or indirectly your outlook in life?

THE PAST

Have you ever done something that is so regrettable you couldn't forgive yourself? Have you ever made a mistake that up to the present time you're still blaming yourself? Are you still torturing yourself with the thought that only if you could've done it differently, you're living a much better life right now?

Good news for you! You don't have to keep this burden in your heart
for as long as you live. Release it. Set yourself free.

If you keep bad memories, you're depriving yourself of good mental and emotional health. You're making yourself a prisoner of the past.
This will adversely affect your capacity to act at the present moment.
You will not be able to think clearly and you will lose your focus if you are still lingering in the shadows of your dark past.

No matter what you do, you couldn't reverse or otherwise change history. So let bygones be bygones. Why worry about something you have no control of?

Let go of the past, but keep the LESSONS. Whatever lesson you've learned will be of utmost importance to the fulfillment of your goals in the future. These lessons are your mentors that may sometimes teach you the hard way; but nevertheless, success comes to those who are willing to take the risk and pay the price for their actions.

And what about the successes you had in the past? How did you feel when you've accomplished something exceptional? It feels great isn't it?

Well then, use these past experiences in your present endeavors to encourage you and to motivate you. These memorable experiences will bring a positive aura of enthusiasm and will remind you that you have the power to achieve anything with the right attitude.

Recall these affirmative memories in everything that you do and you will see amazing results in all your undertakings.

THE FUTURE

Now how can the future influence your success if it hasn't occurred yet? The answer is simple.

Your burning passion to attain your ideal life in the future will become the motivating factor that will prod and push you to take the essential steps at the present moment.

Conceive your future in the most vivid and comprehensive way possible.

For instance, if you want to get rich, then take into consideration:
1) How much money you desire to make, when you intend to get them, and your action plan to have that exact amount by your target date
2) The vision of your lifestyle when you've attained the money; like the people you are in contact with, the activities you are engaging in, the food you are eating, the places you are visiting...Well, you get the picture.

These are the guiding forces that will chart the right path to your intended destination. If you envision yourself as having attained them and focus all your efforts regardless of the impending obstacles ahead, then your inner power will release the right kind of energy that will enable you to do nearly anything in pursuit of your desired end.

THE PRESENT

The present moment is the time to ACT. Ready or not, you must do some action now! Mistakes will be made, but you could always revise them.

Put procrastination aside. One delay or excuse will generate a chain reaction of more postponements and alibis that will never end. Before you knew it, open opportunities have already passed you by.

Never let fear get on your way. Some people are struck by the threats of failures, setbacks, or criticisms. What they don't realize is that majority of successful people had to pass through "the eye of the needle" in order to get where they are now.

Act intelligently. Use your past mistakes as guides to avoid future blunders. Let the vision of your ideal life in the future compel you to
carry out your plans and catapult you to reach your deepest desires.

How To Start, Survive, and Finish Your Journey To Super Success

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How To Start, Survive, and Finish Your Journey To Super Success

"The more you hate, the more you love."

What an ironic statement. Whoever said those words must
have been drunk. The bottom line is this: It is extremely
difficult to like or love something that you despise.

But what can we do to solve this dilemma? What if you're
trapped in an environment that you don't want to be involved
in? What if you're sick and tired of your job that you
feel like puking every time someone mentions your work?

Of course, you take inspired and motivated action to
get out of your present rut and start living the life
you've always dreamed of.

Guess what? It's not going to be easy. You will have to
come out of your comfort zones to discover potentials and
opportunities waiting for you. You have to conquer your
fear and take calculated risks. You have to stay focused
and persevere despite the difficulties you will encounter.

Success doesn't come easy. It takes heart and passion. It
may also take some time before you can actually reap the
fruits of your labor.

But how do you actually survive this stage? This is the
moment when you're working extra hard to reach your goals.
This is also the instance when you're enduring whatever
adversity hits you.

For example, you're employed in a job that you hate. You
know deep inside that you would not like to stay in the
rat race throughout your life. So you decided to engage
in a part-time business or to study night courses. Good
move, my friend.

So far so good. A few days later, time started running
out for you. Your family complains that you've never
spoken a word to them in such a long time. You're
getting crazy over your very hectic schedule. Soon
enough, your attitude changes negatively. You get mad
and frustrated over the tiniest setbacks. You hate the
world for all the misery it has brought upon you.

Stop right now!

That is not the way to go. You are attracting negative
elements into your life. Yes, you have to work harder,
dig deeper, and sacrifice more to attain your ambitions.
But no, you don't have to hate the world and feel bad
about your difficult situation. Remember the Law of
Attraction. If you hate the world, the world hates you
back.

So what do you have to do?

Learn to love your current situation. See all the
positive sides of life. Be enthusiastic. Love your
boss, your coworkers, your family, your friends, and
even strangers that you meet on the streets. It may
not be easy, but nothing is impossible with a strong
will power. Just don't fall in love so much that you
totally forget about your dreams.

Balance is the key. Dream and take some positive
action to move you toward your goals. Take it one
step at a time. But while you're slowly crawling into
the long journey to success, be patient and be as
enthusiastic as possible. Don't hurry up too much that
you totally forget how to enjoy life.

One fine day, you will finally attain what you have
always longed for. But when that day comes, don't
spit back on the face of those who belittled you
before.

Stay humble. Don't look down on others when you see
that you are becoming more successful than they are.
Help them. Inject your positive aura into their
personalities. When you give, you will yield back
equal or greater rewards.

Are you ready to begin the journey? Start it with
the courage and desire to improve your life. Survive
and go through it with persistence, enthusiasm, and
positive thinking. Finish it with a resounding bang
of accomplishment and with the desire to help others
succeed as well.

The Road to Intuition

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

The Road to Intuition

Have you had that experience when all of a sudden you just had this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and to your surprise, that intuition was eventually translated to reality?

When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it, that's called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening.

Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.

Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or "gut feel." This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can't explain it and all you can say is "I just know."

On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling.

They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive it almost borders on E.S.P. But studies have been sprouting left and right that proclaim that anyone can develop intuition.

Why the need to develop intuition, you ask? Why not let your emotional and psychological state as it is? First and foremost, intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for any means of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.

With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:

1. Hypnosis

Oh yes, get yourself hypnotized. Hypnosis is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth. Perform self-hypnosis or you can avail of hypnotic programs that can strengthen your intuition.

2. Meditation

Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too many baggage and hurt, you wouldn't be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.

3. Think positive!

A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.

4. Just let go.

What does this mean? If you are on the brink of making a huge decision, let go of all the inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you could find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.

5. Never expect.

After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect for an answer right away. Never expect that the "hunch" would fall on your lap immediately. Give it a little time then you'd just get surprised that -- wham! -- now you have your answer.

6. Believe in your first impressions.

When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.

7. Stay happy!

See? All you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. In tapping your intuition, your motivation must be happiness and contentment. Given that premise, intuition will fall to you easily.

Intuition is helpful, because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier done if armed by this gift. Develop intuition now and reap benefits you have never imagined.

Daily Allowance for Relaxation

Image by HaPe_Gera via Flickr

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Daily Allowance for Relaxation

Stress is the curse of living in modern times. Everyone suffers from stress. And the stress we suffer takes a heavy toll on our bodies, emotions and minds.

Feeling stressed out, worn out by fatigue or just simply having a miserable day, the best thing to do is relax.

Watching television may be a form of relaxation for some, but is not a recommended method by experts. When we watch TV we are bombarded with commercials, ads, sounds and images. So how do we achieve relaxation? If there are thousands of ways we can get stressed, one of them is not meeting deadlines, there are also many ways we can relax.

In recent studies, experts have determined that heart disease is linked to anger and irritability is linked to mental stress. Too much stress brings about ischemia that can lead to or cause a heart attack. Relaxation takes on added importance in light of this matter. Managing your anger and attitude is significant to heart health, and relaxation can help you manage stress.

One way of relaxation is transcendental meditation. Recent studies have also shown that this method might reduce artery blockage, which is a major cause for heart attack and stroke. People practice transcendental meditation by repeating uttering soothing sounds while meditating, this is to achieve total relaxation. The researchers found that practitioners of transcendental meditation significantly reduced the thickness of their arterial wall compared with those who didn't practice transcendental meditation.

Another study on another method of relaxation, acupuncture, seems to reduce high blood pressure by initiating several body functions for the brain to release chemical compounds known as endorphins. Endorphin helps to relax muscles, ease panic, decrease pain, and reduce anxiety.

Yoga is also another method for relaxation and may also have similar effects like acupuncture. In another study, participants were subjected to several minutes of mental stress. Then they were subjected to various relaxation techniques, such as listening to nature sounds or classical music. Only those who did Yoga significantly reduced the time it took for their blood pressures to go back to normal. Yoga is a form of progressive relaxation.

Breathing is one of the easiest methods to relax. Breathing influences alamost all aspects of us, it affects our mind, our moods and our body. Simply focus on your breathing, after some time you can feel its effects right away.

There are several breathing techniques that can help you reduce stress.

Another easy way to achieve relaxation is exercise. If you feel irritated a simple half-hour of exercise will often settle things down. Although exercise is a great way to lose weight, it does not show you how to manage stress appropriately. Exercise should also be used in conjunction with other exercise method.

One great way of relaxation is getting a massage. To gain full relaxation, you need to totally surrender to the handling and touch of a professional therapist.

There are several types of massages that also give different levels of relaxation.

Another method of relaxation is Biofeedback. The usual biofeedback-training program includes a 10-hour sessions that is often spaced one week apart.

Hypnosis is one controversial relaxation technique. It is a good alternative for people who think that they have no idea what it feels like to be relaxed. It is also a good alternative for people with stress related health problems.

Drugs are extreme alternatives to relaxation. They are sometimes not safe and are not effective like the other relaxation methods. This method is only used by trained medical professionals on their patients.

These relaxation techniques are just some of the ways you can achieve relaxation. Another reason why we need to relax, aside from lowering blood pressure in people and decreasing the chances of a stroke or a heart attack, is because stress produces hormones that suppress the immune system, relaxation gives the immune system time to recover and in doing so function more efficiently.

Relaxation lowers the activities within the brains' limbic system; this is the emotional center of our brain.

Furthermore, the brain has a periodic need for a more pronounced activity on the right-hemisphere. Relaxation is one way of achieving this.

Relaxation can really be of good use once a relaxation technique is regularly built into your lifestyle. Choose a technique that you believe you can do regularly.

Control Your Fear Before It Controls You

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Control Your Fear Before It Controls You

"Fear Factor" is one of my favorite TV shows. It
highlights the courage of the participants to engage in
the most fearsome and disgusting acts.

Most of the contestants are willing to sacrifice their
dignity for the sake of the prize money. So what does
that imply? It implies that with the proper mindset,
determination, and will power, you can conquer your fear.

Everyone has some sort of fear. It may be brought about
by any one or more of the following reasons.

1) by a traumatic past incident (like being bitten by a
dog)
2) by the influence of other people
3) by their own negative way of thinking

But are you going to let fear take over your life? Will
you remain a hostage of your fear forever?

You must take the necessary steps to overcome your fright.
It's all in the mind.

Do you envy other people when you see them enjoying wild
rides, and you're just stuck in a corner because you're
too terrified to give it a try?

My suggestion is to face your fear head-on. Imagine
yourself enjoying the experience instead of exaggerating
the things that make you worry. (Unless of course you
have health problems, then taking wild rides may not be
a good idea).

Do you want to be a doctor but you're afraid that your
intellect can't handle the pressure or you're worried
about financial insecurity?

Well here's the good news. If you're really determined
to achieve your deepest desires, a powerful force will
enable you to reach them amidst every obstacle that comes
in the way. I'm not kidding.

Someone or something will always be there to help you
attain your goals. Just have faith in your abilities.
Your will power have the utmost capacity to accomplish
anything with the proper mindset.

You could use visualization to help you in defeating
any kind of fear.

Are you afraid of heights? Then imagine yourself being on
top of a mountain, overseeing the magnificent sights. Enjoy
and feel the moment. Take away all worries and anxieties.

Then just do it! Face it head on! Go to the top of a
building and savor the great feeling of being able to
face your fear.

This applies to whatever thing that triggers your fear
factor. Just imagine being able to defeat it, then
confront it with the definite belief that you have the
capacity to do everything you want if you just put your
mind to it.

Face the thing you fear the most and you'll never have to
fear anything again in your life.

Coaching - an Easy Way To Make Things Happen

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Coaching - an Easy Way To Make Things Happen

When you hear the word “coach”, what comes first into your mind? Do you picture a basketball team with a man/woman shouting out directions? Or perhaps a football team with a man/woman pacing to and fro and calling out the names of the players?

Coaching is no longer reserved to sports teams; it is now one of the key concepts in leadership and management. Why is coaching popular?

Coaching levels the playing field.

Coaching is one of the six emotional leadership styles proposed by Daniel Goleman. Moreover, it is a behavior or role that leaders enforce in the context of situational leadership. As a leadership style, coaching is used when the members of a group or team are competent and motivated, but do not have an idea of the long-term goals of an organization. This involves two levels of coaching: team and individual. Team coaching makes members work together. In a group of individuals, not everyone may have nor share the same level of competence and commitment to a goal. A group may be a mix of highly competent and moderately competent members with varying levels of commitment. These differences can cause friction among the members. The coaching leader helps the members level their expectations. Also, the coaching leader manages differing perspectives so that the common goal succeeds over personal goals and interests. In a big organization, leaders need to align the staffs’ personal values and goals with that of the organization so that long-term directions can be pursued.

Coaching builds up confidence and competence.

Individual coaching is an example of situational leadership at work. It aims to mentor one-on-one building up the confidence of members by affirming good performance during regular feedbacks; and increase competence by helping the member assess his/her strengths and weaknesses towards career planning and professional development. Depending on the individual’s level of competence and commitment, a leader may exercise more coaching behavior for the less-experienced members. Usually, this happens in the case of new staffs. The direct supervisor gives more defined tasks and holds regular feedbacks for the new staff, and gradually lessens the amount of coaching, directing, and supporting roles to favor delegating as competence and confidence increase.

Coaching promotes individual and team excellence.

Excellence is a product of habitual good practice. The regularity of meetings and constructive feedback is important in establishing habits. Members catch the habit of constantly assessing themselves for their strengths and areas for improvement that they themselves perceive what knowledge, skills, and attitudes they need to acquire to attain team goals. In the process, they attain individually excellence as well. An example is in the case of a musical orchestra: each member plays a different instrument. In order to achieve harmony of music from the different instrument, members will polish their part in the piece, aside from practicing as an ensemble. Consequently, they improve individually as an instrument player.

Coaching develops high commitment to common goals.

A coaching leader balances the attainment of immediate targets with long-term goals towards the vision of an organization. As mentioned earlier, with the alignment of personal goals with organizational or team goals, personal interests are kept in check. By constantly communicating the vision through formal and informal conversations, the members are inspired and motivated. Setting short-term team goals aligned with organizational goals; and making an action plan to attain these goals can help sustain the increased motivation and commitment to common goals of the members.

Coaching produces valuable leaders.

Leadership by example is important in coaching. A coaching leader loses credibility when he/she cannot practice what he/she preaches. This means that a coaching leader should be well organized, highly competent is his/her field, communicates openly and encourages feedback, and has a clear idea of the organization’s vision-mission-goals. By vicarious and purposive learning, members catch the same good practices and attitudes from the coaching leader, turning them into coaching leaders themselves. If a member experiences good coaching, he/she is most likely to do the same things when entrusted with formal leadership roles.

Some words of caution though: coaching is just one of the styles of leadership. It can be done in combination with the other five emotional leadership styles depending on the profile of the emerging team. Moreover, coaching as a leadership style requires that you are physically, emotionally, and mentally fit most of the time since it involves two levels of coaching: individual and team. Your members expect you to be the last one to give up or bail out in any situation especially during times of crises. A coaching leader must be conscious that coaching entails investing time on each individual, and on the whole team. Moreover, that the responsibilities are greater since while you are coaching members, you are also developing future coaches as well.

Chaos Theory: Self-hypnosis for Your Own Peace of Mind

Cover of Peace of Mind

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Chaos Theory: Self-hypnosis for Your Own Peace of Mind

Your boss ends the day with a stack of papers and instructions that you submit the report in the next 42 hours. Your significant other doesn’t answer your calls. Your mother sends you guilt-tripping messages. Your landlady ignores you when you tell her a part of your ceiling is leaking. You feel a throbbing pain in your temples. Your credit card bills take over even in your dreams.

Easy does it.

Take a deep breath, close your eyes and unravel your thoughts.

Sometimes, taking control over a chaotic life, a stressful situation, a physical ailment or an emotional dilemma starts within you – your mind, your subconscious, specifically.

And communicating with your subconscious - negotiating with your own self - can be achieved through self-hypnosis. How to do it? Here’s a sample basic procedure.

1. Find a venue conducive for relaxation: a quite room, with the temperature comfortable and the lights just right (not too dim, not too bright). Light a candle and incense if you desire.

2. Surround your place with sound pleasant to your ears. Play relaxing music. Bring in a portable fountain. Hang some chimes where the breeze blows. The sound of music is soothing.

3. Find a comfortable position. Surround yourself with pillows, blankets, and the like. A caring, healing sensation eases stress.

4. Tell yourself: “I am light, I am comfortable, I am at ease. All my tensions, worries and anxieties are gone. I am light, I am comfortable, I am at ease.” Repeat many times while breathing deeply.

5. Picture what you want your life to be. Visualize every detail, every situation that you want to happen. Imagine it so as if it is really happening.

6. Repeat no. 4. Breathe in and out, and imagine yourself being surrounded by a bright, luminous light starting from your forehead until it fills the room.

7. Wake up when you’re ready.

Repeat this procedure regularly. This exercise helps you clear your thoughts. It may lead you to self-revelations that would help you assess the situation on how you live your dreams. It may or may not work, your goal may or may not be achieved – the universe has reasons humans may not fathom. The important thing is this: self-hypnosis will help you become a better person – calmer, more attuned to yourself, and more willing to help others. With your tensions and worries away, who knows what you can do!

Building Solid Relationships Using the Power of Words

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Building Solid Relationships Using the Power of Words

We may not be aware of it; but the words we utter daily
may have different interpretations, even if you think that
they mean the same thing.

Here's an example.

Would you rather have someone tell you that you are "slim,"
or would you like to hear that you are "thin?" Being slim
has a slightly positive effect because it is attributed to
health and fitness.

Rather than saying you have failed, just mention that you
have not yet achieved success. Get the picture? Always
try to speak words in the most positive manner you can
think of.

Here's another important advice.

Never compare the negative qualities of one person with
another.

A former boss of mine has this to say to me when I made
an error in my previous day job, "James (not real name) is
doing a much better job than you are. He's not committing
any mistake like you do."

That crushed my heart. My boss thought this would motivate
me to do better. Nope, it just hurt my feelings and lowered
my self-esteem. Of course, I would never make the same
mistake again after her harsh scolding. I've learned my
lesson well. But she could have said it nicely.

Experiences arising from discouragement and condemnation
will have a negative effect on the recipient.

Some parents might believe that instilling fear on their
children would improve their performance. They would
say, "You're always failing. Why can't you be like your
brother? You're such a disgrace to this family."

Now that's not the proper way to do it. They should inspire,
encourage, and motivate their children; not belittle them
even further.

They should tell their children that they have the capacity
to achieve great things, if they would only put a little more
effort. Teach them values that would make them feel important
and loved.

You may even go as far as giving them qualities that they
do not yet possess. By giving them confidence and by making
them believe that they have such characteristics, they will
eventually acquire such traits. Tell them how bright you
think they are, and you will soon be surprised at the
results. They will significantly improve if you firmly made
them believe that they have the capacity to do so.

So if you ever wanted to persuade or encourage someone to do
better, make sure that he or she is motivated out of
inspiration, and not out of fear. Give advice that cares,
and not offensive words borne out of hatred or anger.

Think first before you speak. Many relationships have been
ruined by the wrong choice of words. Some people voice out
anything that comes to their mind, without first filtering
the good words from the bad ones. This might result in
misunderstandings and arguments, which could have easily
been prevented if we speak out in a way that is neutral
and non-offensive.

Words are very powerful indeed. Use them responsibly for
the benefit of all.

Be A Better You

Categories

Every Problem Has a Solution: Adventures in Creative Thinking

Genuine Happiness from Within

How Natural Medicine Can Help You

How to Become the Person of Your Dreams

How to Save Yourself from Negative Influences

How to Visualize and Affirm Your Deepest Desires

Helpful Tips to Overcome Procrastination

How To Criticize And Still Be Nice

How To Use The Past, Future, And Present In Attaining Success

How To Start, Survive, and Finish Your Journey To Super Success

The Road to Intuition

Daily Allowance for Relaxation

Control Your Fear Before It Controls You

Coaching - an Easy Way To Make Things Happen

Chaos Theory: Self-hypnosis for Your Own Peace of Mind

Building Solid Relationships Using the Power of Words

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