Be A Better You

Every Problem Has a Solution: Adventures in Creative Thinking

2009-07-05T02:32:00.002-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Every Problem Has a Solution: Adventures in Creative Thinking

How many times have you caught yourself saying that there could be no other solution to a problem – and that that problem leads to a dead end? How many times have you felt stumped knowing that the problem laying before you is one you cannot solve. No leads. No options. No solutions.

Did it feel like you had exhausted all possible options and yet are still before the mountain – large, unconquerable, and impregnable? When encountering such enormous problems, you may feel like you're hammering against a steel mountain. The pressure of having to solve such a problem may be overwhelming.

But rejoice! There might be some hope yet!

With some creative problem-solving techniques you may be able to look at your problem in a different light. And that light might just be the end of the tunnel that leads to possible solutions.

First of all, in the light of creative problem-solving, you must be open-minded to the fact that there may be more than just one solution to the problem. And, you must be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems you thought were unsolvable.

Now, with this optimistic mindset, we can try to be a little bit more creative in solving our problems.

Number one; maybe the reason we cannot solve our problems is that we have not really taken a hard look at what the problem is. Here, trying to understanding the problem and having a concrete understanding of its workings is integral solving the problem. If you know how it works, what the problem is, then you have a better foundation towards solving the problem.

Not trying to make the simple statement of what problem is. Try to identify the participating entities and what their relationships with one another are. Take note of the things you stand to gain any stand to lose from the current problem. Now you have a simple statement of what the problem is.

Number two; try to take note of all of the constraints and assumptions you have the words of problem. Sometimes it is these assumptions that obstruct our view of possible solutions. You have to identify which assumptions are valid, in which assumptions need to be addressed.

Number three; try to solve the problem by parts. Solve it going from general view towards the more detailed parts of the problem. This is called the top-down approach. Write down the question, and then come up with a one-sentence solution to that from them. The solution should be a general statement of what will solve the problem. From here you can develop the solution further, and increase its complexity little by little.

Number four; although it helps to have critical thinking aboard as you solve a problem, you must also keep a creative, analytical voice at the back of your head. When someone comes up with a prospective solution, tried to think how you could make that solution work. Try to be creative. At the same time, look for chinks in the armor of that solution.

Number five; it pays to remember that there may be more than just one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all the solutions and their developments. Remember, there may be more than just one solution to the problem.

Number six; remember that old adage," two heads are better than one." That one is truer than it sounds. Always be open to new ideas. You can only benefit from listening to all the ideas each person has. This is especially true when the person you're talking to has had experience solving problems similar to yours.

You don't have to be a gung-ho, solo hero to solve the problem. If you can organize collective thought on the subject, it would be much better.

Number seven; be patient. As long as you persevere, there is always a chance that a solution will present itself. Remember that no one was able to create an invention the first time around.

Creative thinking exercises can also help you in your quest be a more creative problems solver.

Here is one example.

Take a piece of paper and write any word that comes to mind at the center. Now look at that word then write the first two words that come to your mind. This can go on until you can build a tree of related words. This helps you build analogical skills, and fortify your creative processes.

So, next time you see a problem you think you can not solve, think again. The solution might just be staring you right in the face. All it takes is just a little creative thinking, some planning, and a whole lot of work.

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Article provided by Michael Cobb. Visit Michael's Self Help, Self Improvement, Motivation and Personal Growth website at http://www.be-a-better-you.com/articles or the Self Help, Self Improvement, Motivation and Personal Growth Blog at http://be-a-better-you.blogspot.com for more great articles, tips and resourses.
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Genuine Happiness from Within

2009-07-05T02:32:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Genuine Happiness from Within

Life isn’t the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is just too heavy, I look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?” Then I pause and observed for awhile… I figured out that maybe, they start to work on a place called ‘self’.

So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.

My theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.” To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”

When we discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life lit it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, wining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.

How to be genuinely happy in spite all these? I tell you… every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy? Every one has his own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as much best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”.For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.

Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy?”. I’ll refer you to a friend of mine who strongly quoted- “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.”

How Natural Medicine Can Help You

2009-07-05T02:31:00.001-07:00

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By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How Natural Medicine Can Help You

When you get sick, you go to the doctor. And the doctor will, of course, prescribe medicines. You will go and buy medicines. You take them, and hopefully, you get well.

This is how the health profession goes on nowadays – a cycle of diagnosis and prescription.

If anyone were to give you herbs for medicine, you would probably say that that person was a quack.

But nowadays, studies are being conducted to see if there are really is any merit to what is called natural medicine.

Natural medicine is the use of natural methods, herbal medicines, and traditional practices to heal ailments. Every culture has a form of natural medicine. In ancient cultures, village medicine men served as the doctors of the community, passing on medical knowledge to the apprentices that followed them.

Many categories of the healing methods fall under natural medicine. Among these are traditional medicine, complementary medicine, and alternative medicine.

Usually, natural medicine refers to medical practices that were in place before the advent of modern medicine.

This includes herbal medicine, or phytotherapy, which is prevalent in Chinese, Ayurvedic(or Indian), and Greek medicine.

Upon the advent of modern medicine, many professionals discarded the use of herbs in favor of man-made medicine. The fact that these treatments are based on the healing properties of some herbs was forgotten.

For example, opium, digitalis, quinine, and aspirin all have their roots in traditional medicine.

Natural medicine can be considered as a lost art. This does not mean that it has lost efficacy over time. In some cases, natural therapy is actually better than modern medicine. This leads some doctors to seriously consider and study the possible uses of natural medicine

Before we continue, it is important to stress that not all the natural remedies are legitimate. It would help to only try those remedies which have been thoroughly studied and are relatively risk free.

Take herbal medicine for example. There are many well-documented and studied herbal remedies available. However, only those that deal with minor ailments such as cough, colds, fever, skin rashes, and its ilk are likely to be recommended by health professionals. These remedies are sometimes superior to synthetic medicine. This is because herbal medicines are less likely to cause negative side effects.

Currently there are numerous organizations that study the effects and advocacy of natural medicine – among which is herbal medicine. Some governments and health agencies openly advocate the use of natural methods since they are inexpensive and relatively risk-free.

As their studies compile, more herbs and treatments are added to the list of accepted medicines. However, many herbs and treatments have been proven to be bogus medicine. This represents a challenge for both the user and the agencies because they have to ascertain that the treatments they either use or advocate are legitimate.

There exist today many alternative medical treatments that fall under natural medicine. However, not all of them have been proven to be effective. You could mention homeopathy, aromatherapy, acupuncture, and other alternative medical treatments. It would pay to consult the experts as to the legitimacy of these treatments.

Natural medicine should also be thought of as an accompanying medicine. Right now, the current collective medical thought suggests that natural medicine be used only to supplement accepted modern medical practices. In that case of minor ailments your expert we actually advise you to take natural therapies instead.

The practice of modern medicine revolves around diagnosing an illness and prescribing treatments for such. Natural medicine is helpful because it suggests that treatment be not necessarily given only when sick. Natural medicine strives to make each patient practice good health habits. These habits include good diet, healthy living, and the regular natural treatment.

It is this same line of thought that leads our parents to tell us to eat our vegetables. Yes, a healthy lifestyle and will do no harm to our well-being. And this is the foundation of natural medicine – may it be massage, herbal medicine, aromatherapy or others.

It is funny but true that science, in its quest for excellence, is studying the knowledge of sages past. This, surprisingly, leads us back to the remedies nature offers. The possibilities of finding remedies to everyday illnesses in natural medicine are encouraging. So staying tuned to studying these remedies is worthwhile until we can verify that these therapies are truly helpful to our health and our society.

How to Become the Person of Your Dreams

2009-07-05T02:29:00.002-07:00

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By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How to Become the Person of Your Dreams

“What would you like to be when you grow up?” I bet you often hear this question asked many times when you were still young. But have you given this question some deep thoughts?

Different people have different dreams. So what’s your aspiration? Do you want to become a doctor, lawyer, pilot, or entertainer? Or would you want to be like Tom Cruise or Bill Gates? Let me tell you now, you can become what you want to become. You can be anything you want to be as long as you put your mind and heart to it.

Here are some tips and words of encouragement to keep you all fired up.

Learn as much as possible about the person you aspire to be. Let’s say you dream to become a basketball player. Gather all facts and information about the sport. Research on the internet, read books, watch the games and analyze team strategies; in other words, strive to be an expert.

You must have the desire and passion to know everything you can about the subject. If you can have a real person to imitate or look up to, the better. For example, you may see yourself as Michael Jordan (for basketball), Mariah Carey (for singing), or Heide Klum (for modeling). Feel, talk, and act as if you’re that person you’re emulating. You’ll quickly acquire the behavior and qualities of that person. This formula works like a charm, so just give it a try.

Take motivated action and start pursuing your dreams. Don’t wait for everything to be perfect. That will never happen. There will always be bumps and obstacles ahead. The important thing is to start right now and adjust along the way.

Persist until the very end. Never let failures distract you. Just keep pushing yourself to the limit. If you think that a task seems impossible to accomplish, banish that thought immediately. Your mind has the capacity to bring into reality anything you desire. As long as you stay focused and patient on your objective despite any setbacks or discouragements, you will become successful much sooner than you may think.

How to Save Yourself from Negative Influences

2009-07-05T02:29:00.001-07:00

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By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How to Save Yourself from Negative Influences

Watching the news can be hazardous to your health.

It's a fact, especially when you're watching events related
to terrorism, kidnapping, murder, accidents, or calamities.
These incidents make you worry and will leave you feeling weak
and insecure. Imagine the uncomfortable feeling of becoming a
victim someday. This will have a negative effect on your
outlook in life.

Your surroundings have a big impact on you. How can you think
and grow rich if you're bombarded with messages that relates
"how difficult life has become" or "how poor most of us has
turned out to be?"

You can't change your environment, but you certainly can
control your mind. This is where visualization comes into
play. Use your imagination, just as you would when you're
still a little child. Imagine your home as a palace, your
simple meal as fine dining gourmet, and your nearby park as
your favorite vacation spot. Just imagine. Unconsciously,
your thoughts will transform the images into their physical
components.

If the media can indirectly influence you just by reporting
what's happening around, imagine what impact everyday people
have on you. These are the people that you see and meet
everyday. These are also the same people who are expressing
their own views of what is right and what is wrong.

When we grow up in a negative environment, we tend to acquire
the traits and characteristics of people around us.

Many gangsters have been brought up by folks who have either
misguided them or have taught them the wrong things in life.
Through the years, they have instilled within themselves the
vices of people around them.

Here's another case.

Pick a nice person, throw him in a group of bad-mouthed
individuals who incorporates swear words in their everyday
language. Sooner or later, you'll notice that nice person
speaking in the same manner as the group.

This just goes to say that anyone who joins in the company
of a like-minded group will have a big chance of being
influenced by the personality of that group. So what
can you do if you're surrounded by people who deviates
from your way of thinking?

You can't just avoid them. They'll think of you as a snob.
Don't change the way you treat them, but simply learn how
to shield out pessimistic comments or suggestions.

Sometimes, they will dictate you to do what you are against
to do. Be firm with what you believe in. Do not let them
affect your decisions. You know that you can do what they
thought would be impossible. If you have to suffer the
ridicule, so be it. You will have the last laugh anyway.

Moreover, you should be with people who have the same
principles and ideologies as you do. You will be more
encouraged to continue your dreams if you have a support
group or mentor who will prod you to pursue your goals
despite the setbacks.

When I was starting my internet endeavors, no one (and
I mean not even one) of my relatives and friends believed
me. But I did not let their discouragement stop me from
becoming successful.

I remained firm in my quest to make a living online. I
made friends with respected internet marketers who shared
the same vision as mine. They have also experienced the
same treatment from non-believers; but they have proven
that what the mind can conceive, it can achieve. Through
their help, I was able to put aside my doubts and achieve
my goals.

You have the power to make your dreams a reality. Now
show the world what stuff you are made of.

How to Visualize and Affirm Your Deepest Desires

2009-07-05T02:28:00.001-07:00

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By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How to Visualize and Affirm Your Deepest Desires

It's been a long time since I played basketball. But I have a passion for it. Everyday I would think that I am making jump shots from every angle of the court. Then I would also imagine that I've won the championship, that I'm also the highest scorer in the game. I would really love to play again, but I'm too busy with my job & other stuffs.

Then the opportunity came when my friends invited me to play. I haven't been practicing, but I'm making more accurate shots than those who have been playing every day.

What made the difference?

Well, that's the power of imagination & visualization. If you want to be a lawyer, visualize as one. Act like one. Think of what suit you’re wearing, the judge you’re convincing, the case you're handling, and the courtroom you’re in. Visualize the evidences. Smell the victory. Make everything real.

You should also affirm. Believe that you are what you are visualizing. So you want to be a lawyer? Tell yourself, "I'm the best lawyer in the world." Don't say to yourself, "I will be the best lawyer in the world."

Affirm strongly. Say "I am," not "I will," because "I will" suggests something that will occur only in the future. You have to experience it NOW, not in the future.

You must sink into your subconscious your deepest desire. The subconscious mind can do what the conscious mind cannot.
Here's an exercise.

1. Get a comfortable & quiet place to rest.

2. Relax your whole body. Command every part of your body to relax starting from your feet up to your head.

3. Count back slowly from 20 to 1, where in each count you relax deeper & deeper. Upon reaching 1, you are completely relaxed.

4. Now affirm your deepest desire. If you want to be a lawyer, say," I am the greatest lawyer in the world." As you're saying that, picture yourself to be the best lawyer ever, winning every case you've come across. You may say "I am now explaining to the jury my winning proposition" or anything that will affirm what you're conceiving in your mind as of the moment.

5. After about 10 to 20 minutes of continuous confirmation and visualization, count slowly from 1 to 20. Upon counting, slowly be aware of your surroundings. Feel refreshed and invigorated after doing this exercise.

6. Repeat this exercise everyday.

What you have just learned is a very powerful technique to greatly enhance the power of visualization & affirmation by imbedding it into the subconscious. What once is nearly impossible to achieve will become easier to reach from now on.

Helpful Tips to Overcome Procrastination

2009-07-05T02:27:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Helpful Tips to Overcome Procrastination

Many among us, on many instances, have the habit of putting
aside to a later time or day some things that needs to be done
or acted upon like a project, work, job, or duty. For purposes
of discussion, we will confine ourselves to procrastination on
repair works typically at home. It equates to other
circumstances as well.

Procrastination is one habit that is hard to beat. We
procrastinate for various reasons:

1. When we think that the work that needs to be done can
afford to wait or be delayed.

2. When we are busy with something else we think is more
important.

3. When we do not like the work involved or when it is
difficult to do.

4. When we are not sure if the work that needs to be done
will be effective.

5. When the things needed in the work are not yet available
or incomplete.

6. When we forget about it.

And many other reasons like laziness or a combination of the
above.

Hard to beat as it is, we stand to gain more and virtually
loose nothing if we overturn this habit.

Check out these helpful tips:

1. When we think that a work can afford to be delayed, it can
also afford not to be delayed. By having the work done without
further delay, we feel a sigh of relief making the load of work
on our back lesser or lighter, which eventually makes us feel
better.

2. After being busy with something more important and you have
time to spare, this spare time can be used to attend to the
things on the pending list.

3. Delaying work that is difficult makes the work even more
difficult. A leak on the roof may not be harmful if it doesn't
rain; but once it rains, water goes into the house resulting
in wet floors and carpets and eventually, the extent of
damage could be more than can be imagined.

4. When we are not sure if work that needs to be done will be
effective, we must seek advice from people who are more
knowledgeable on this field. Procrastinating won't help.

5. Delayed work due to incomplete materials will remain delayed
unless we fill in the incomplete items. Again, procrastinating
won't help.

6. Make a list of all pending work in the house and post it on
the refrigerator door to constantly remind us about them.

Bottom line is:

We may feel lazy at times and tend to delay some work that
needs our attention. It's understandable that 'starting' to
get a job done is the most difficult part, but once you have
started, half of the job is already done and the second half
will be easy.

Every time you feel like procrastinating, picture yourself as
the job that needs to be done - like a prisoner wherein
justice being delayed results to justice being denied.

How To Criticize And Still Be Nice

2009-07-05T02:26:00.000-07:00

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By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How To Criticize And Still Be Nice

Have you ever encountered an experience when someone told you
how fat you've become? Maybe your boss have commented on how
bad your work turned out to be. Maybe you've heard from other
folks how people view you as cold and unapproachable.

Hurts, doesn't it?

Believe it or not, some people can be so tactless that they
are not even aware when they've hurt anyone's feelings. The
receiving parties, especially the sensitive ones, would be
offended by their remarks. This would result in conflicts
and arguments.

You know you're doing them a big favor by saving them from
shame or disappointment, but would they realize your good
intentions instead of feeling hurt by your brutally frank
comments or advices?

They might probably think you're too rude or impolite.
But what can you do if you really need to assert an honest
criticism, but you're afraid of hurting others' feelings?

Want to know the secret?

All you have to do is sandwich your negative comment between
two positive remarks.

For example, your best friend Paul is going on his very first
date. He's all excited and raring to go. Now Paul doesn't
have any fashion sense. He's wearing a bland shirt and old
jeans. You know all along how he hates to admit that he's
wrong. So what will you do to save Paul from an embarassing
first date?

Would you say to him that the outfit he's wearing is
repulsive? That would hurt his ego.

Well, you can first point out the things that you like in his
overall appearance. Comment on his well-groomed hair. Tell
him he looks cool when wearing his sunglasses. Ask him where
he bought his perfume because it can certainly attract women
like bees to honey. Be sincere and honest.

Then, insert in a nice and suave manner your point of view
and advice. You can tell him something like:

"Your shirt seems to be very comfortable to wear, Paul. Since
this is your very first date, I think Sandra (his date) will be
much more impressed if you would wear something like the outfit
that you wore on my birthday. You look smashing when you put
on clothes like that."

Afterwards, make another positive statement. You could say
something like:

"You would definitely make a big impact on Sandra. She would
fall heads over heels over your gorgeous appearance and cheerful
personality. Have a great time on your date, Paul."

Do you think Paul would be offended by such pleasant comments?
Not a chance. You have wittingly inserted a slightly negative
feedback into a plethora of acceptable and ego-boosting
remarks.

People love compliments. They believe they got the qualities.
They want other people to intensify the great abilities that
they believe to possess. People wanted to hear their greatness
purported from someone else's mouth, and they would be very
glad if other individuals would know about it.

So if you want to criticize anybody, remember to praise him
first. It will leave a positive impression that you're a
nice guy. Then say what you have to say, but in a smooth
and non-offensive manner. Finalize with another positive
reinforcement to establish a foundation of goodwill.

How To Use The Past, Future, And Present In Attaining Success

2009-07-05T02:25:00.000-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How To Use The Past, Future, And Present In Attaining Success

Did you know that your past, present, and future can affect directly or indirectly your outlook in life?

THE PAST

Have you ever done something that is so regrettable you couldn't forgive yourself? Have you ever made a mistake that up to the present time you're still blaming yourself? Are you still torturing yourself with the thought that only if you could've done it differently, you're living a much better life right now?

Good news for you! You don't have to keep this burden in your heart
for as long as you live. Release it. Set yourself free.

If you keep bad memories, you're depriving yourself of good mental and emotional health. You're making yourself a prisoner of the past.
This will adversely affect your capacity to act at the present moment.
You will not be able to think clearly and you will lose your focus if you are still lingering in the shadows of your dark past.

No matter what you do, you couldn't reverse or otherwise change history. So let bygones be bygones. Why worry about something you have no control of?

Let go of the past, but keep the LESSONS. Whatever lesson you've learned will be of utmost importance to the fulfillment of your goals in the future. These lessons are your mentors that may sometimes teach you the hard way; but nevertheless, success comes to those who are willing to take the risk and pay the price for their actions.

And what about the successes you had in the past? How did you feel when you've accomplished something exceptional? It feels great isn't it?

Well then, use these past experiences in your present endeavors to encourage you and to motivate you. These memorable experiences will bring a positive aura of enthusiasm and will remind you that you have the power to achieve anything with the right attitude.

Recall these affirmative memories in everything that you do and you will see amazing results in all your undertakings.

THE FUTURE

Now how can the future influence your success if it hasn't occurred yet? The answer is simple.

Your burning passion to attain your ideal life in the future will become the motivating factor that will prod and push you to take the essential steps at the present moment.

Conceive your future in the most vivid and comprehensive way possible.

For instance, if you want to get rich, then take into consideration:
1) How much money you desire to make, when you intend to get them, and your action plan to have that exact amount by your target date
2) The vision of your lifestyle when you've attained the money; like the people you are in contact with, the activities you are engaging in, the food you are eating, the places you are visiting...Well, you get the picture.

These are the guiding forces that will chart the right path to your intended destination. If you envision yourself as having attained them and focus all your efforts regardless of the impending obstacles ahead, then your inner power will release the right kind of energy that will enable you to do nearly anything in pursuit of your desired end.

THE PRESENT

The present moment is the time to ACT. Ready or not, you must do some action now! Mistakes will be made, but you could always revise them.

Put procrastination aside. One delay or excuse will generate a chain reaction of more postponements and alibis that will never end. Before you knew it, open opportunities have already passed you by.

Never let fear get on your way. Some people are struck by the threats of failures, setbacks, or criticisms. What they don't realize is that majority of successful people had to pass through "the eye of the needle" in order to get where they are now.

Act intelligently. Use your past mistakes as guides to avoid future blunders. Let the vision of your ideal life in the future compel you to
carry out your plans and catapult you to reach your deepest desires.

How To Start, Survive, and Finish Your Journey To Super Success

2009-07-05T02:24:00.000-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

How To Start, Survive, and Finish Your Journey To Super Success

"The more you hate, the more you love."

What an ironic statement. Whoever said those words must
have been drunk. The bottom line is this: It is extremely
difficult to like or love something that you despise.

But what can we do to solve this dilemma? What if you're
trapped in an environment that you don't want to be involved
in? What if you're sick and tired of your job that you
feel like puking every time someone mentions your work?

Of course, you take inspired and motivated action to
get out of your present rut and start living the life
you've always dreamed of.

Guess what? It's not going to be easy. You will have to
come out of your comfort zones to discover potentials and
opportunities waiting for you. You have to conquer your
fear and take calculated risks. You have to stay focused
and persevere despite the difficulties you will encounter.

Success doesn't come easy. It takes heart and passion. It
may also take some time before you can actually reap the
fruits of your labor.

But how do you actually survive this stage? This is the
moment when you're working extra hard to reach your goals.
This is also the instance when you're enduring whatever
adversity hits you.

For example, you're employed in a job that you hate. You
know deep inside that you would not like to stay in the
rat race throughout your life. So you decided to engage
in a part-time business or to study night courses. Good
move, my friend.

So far so good. A few days later, time started running
out for you. Your family complains that you've never
spoken a word to them in such a long time. You're
getting crazy over your very hectic schedule. Soon
enough, your attitude changes negatively. You get mad
and frustrated over the tiniest setbacks. You hate the
world for all the misery it has brought upon you.

Stop right now!

That is not the way to go. You are attracting negative
elements into your life. Yes, you have to work harder,
dig deeper, and sacrifice more to attain your ambitions.
But no, you don't have to hate the world and feel bad
about your difficult situation. Remember the Law of
Attraction. If you hate the world, the world hates you
back.

So what do you have to do?

Learn to love your current situation. See all the
positive sides of life. Be enthusiastic. Love your
boss, your coworkers, your family, your friends, and
even strangers that you meet on the streets. It may
not be easy, but nothing is impossible with a strong
will power. Just don't fall in love so much that you
totally forget about your dreams.

Balance is the key. Dream and take some positive
action to move you toward your goals. Take it one
step at a time. But while you're slowly crawling into
the long journey to success, be patient and be as
enthusiastic as possible. Don't hurry up too much that
you totally forget how to enjoy life.

One fine day, you will finally attain what you have
always longed for. But when that day comes, don't
spit back on the face of those who belittled you
before.

Stay humble. Don't look down on others when you see
that you are becoming more successful than they are.
Help them. Inject your positive aura into their
personalities. When you give, you will yield back
equal or greater rewards.

Are you ready to begin the journey? Start it with
the courage and desire to improve your life. Survive
and go through it with persistence, enthusiasm, and
positive thinking. Finish it with a resounding bang
of accomplishment and with the desire to help others
succeed as well.

The Road to Intuition

2009-07-05T02:23:00.000-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

The Road to Intuition

Have you had that experience when all of a sudden you just had this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and to your surprise, that intuition was eventually translated to reality?

When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it, that's called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening.

Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.

Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or "gut feel." This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can't explain it and all you can say is "I just know."

On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling.

They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive it almost borders on E.S.P. But studies have been sprouting left and right that proclaim that anyone can develop intuition.

Why the need to develop intuition, you ask? Why not let your emotional and psychological state as it is? First and foremost, intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for any means of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.

With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:

1. Hypnosis

Oh yes, get yourself hypnotized. Hypnosis is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth. Perform self-hypnosis or you can avail of hypnotic programs that can strengthen your intuition.

2. Meditation

Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too many baggage and hurt, you wouldn't be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.

3. Think positive!

A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.

4. Just let go.

What does this mean? If you are on the brink of making a huge decision, let go of all the inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you could find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.

5. Never expect.

After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect for an answer right away. Never expect that the "hunch" would fall on your lap immediately. Give it a little time then you'd just get surprised that -- wham! -- now you have your answer.

6. Believe in your first impressions.

When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.

7. Stay happy!

See? All you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. In tapping your intuition, your motivation must be happiness and contentment. Given that premise, intuition will fall to you easily.

Intuition is helpful, because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier done if armed by this gift. Develop intuition now and reap benefits you have never imagined.

Daily Allowance for Relaxation

2009-07-05T02:20:00.000-07:00

Image by HaPe_Gera via Flickr

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Daily Allowance for Relaxation

Stress is the curse of living in modern times. Everyone suffers from stress. And the stress we suffer takes a heavy toll on our bodies, emotions and minds.

Feeling stressed out, worn out by fatigue or just simply having a miserable day, the best thing to do is relax.

Watching television may be a form of relaxation for some, but is not a recommended method by experts. When we watch TV we are bombarded with commercials, ads, sounds and images. So how do we achieve relaxation? If there are thousands of ways we can get stressed, one of them is not meeting deadlines, there are also many ways we can relax.

In recent studies, experts have determined that heart disease is linked to anger and irritability is linked to mental stress. Too much stress brings about ischemia that can lead to or cause a heart attack. Relaxation takes on added importance in light of this matter. Managing your anger and attitude is significant to heart health, and relaxation can help you manage stress.

One way of relaxation is transcendental meditation. Recent studies have also shown that this method might reduce artery blockage, which is a major cause for heart attack and stroke. People practice transcendental meditation by repeating uttering soothing sounds while meditating, this is to achieve total relaxation. The researchers found that practitioners of transcendental meditation significantly reduced the thickness of their arterial wall compared with those who didn't practice transcendental meditation.

Another study on another method of relaxation, acupuncture, seems to reduce high blood pressure by initiating several body functions for the brain to release chemical compounds known as endorphins. Endorphin helps to relax muscles, ease panic, decrease pain, and reduce anxiety.

Yoga is also another method for relaxation and may also have similar effects like acupuncture. In another study, participants were subjected to several minutes of mental stress. Then they were subjected to various relaxation techniques, such as listening to nature sounds or classical music. Only those who did Yoga significantly reduced the time it took for their blood pressures to go back to normal. Yoga is a form of progressive relaxation.

Breathing is one of the easiest methods to relax. Breathing influences alamost all aspects of us, it affects our mind, our moods and our body. Simply focus on your breathing, after some time you can feel its effects right away.

There are several breathing techniques that can help you reduce stress.

Another easy way to achieve relaxation is exercise. If you feel irritated a simple half-hour of exercise will often settle things down. Although exercise is a great way to lose weight, it does not show you how to manage stress appropriately. Exercise should also be used in conjunction with other exercise method.

One great way of relaxation is getting a massage. To gain full relaxation, you need to totally surrender to the handling and touch of a professional therapist.

There are several types of massages that also give different levels of relaxation.

Another method of relaxation is Biofeedback. The usual biofeedback-training program includes a 10-hour sessions that is often spaced one week apart.

Hypnosis is one controversial relaxation technique. It is a good alternative for people who think that they have no idea what it feels like to be relaxed. It is also a good alternative for people with stress related health problems.

Drugs are extreme alternatives to relaxation. They are sometimes not safe and are not effective like the other relaxation methods. This method is only used by trained medical professionals on their patients.

These relaxation techniques are just some of the ways you can achieve relaxation. Another reason why we need to relax, aside from lowering blood pressure in people and decreasing the chances of a stroke or a heart attack, is because stress produces hormones that suppress the immune system, relaxation gives the immune system time to recover and in doing so function more efficiently.

Relaxation lowers the activities within the brains' limbic system; this is the emotional center of our brain.

Furthermore, the brain has a periodic need for a more pronounced activity on the right-hemisphere. Relaxation is one way of achieving this.

Relaxation can really be of good use once a relaxation technique is regularly built into your lifestyle. Choose a technique that you believe you can do regularly.

Control Your Fear Before It Controls You

2009-07-05T02:19:00.001-07:00

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Control Your Fear Before It Controls You

"Fear Factor" is one of my favorite TV shows. It
highlights the courage of the participants to engage in
the most fearsome and disgusting acts.

Most of the contestants are willing to sacrifice their
dignity for the sake of the prize money. So what does
that imply? It implies that with the proper mindset,
determination, and will power, you can conquer your fear.

Everyone has some sort of fear. It may be brought about
by any one or more of the following reasons.

1) by a traumatic past incident (like being bitten by a
dog)
2) by the influence of other people
3) by their own negative way of thinking

But are you going to let fear take over your life? Will
you remain a hostage of your fear forever?

You must take the necessary steps to overcome your fright.
It's all in the mind.

Do you envy other people when you see them enjoying wild
rides, and you're just stuck in a corner because you're
too terrified to give it a try?

My suggestion is to face your fear head-on. Imagine
yourself enjoying the experience instead of exaggerating
the things that make you worry. (Unless of course you
have health problems, then taking wild rides may not be
a good idea).

Do you want to be a doctor but you're afraid that your
intellect can't handle the pressure or you're worried
about financial insecurity?

Well here's the good news. If you're really determined
to achieve your deepest desires, a powerful force will
enable you to reach them amidst every obstacle that comes
in the way. I'm not kidding.

Someone or something will always be there to help you
attain your goals. Just have faith in your abilities.
Your will power have the utmost capacity to accomplish
anything with the proper mindset.

You could use visualization to help you in defeating
any kind of fear.

Are you afraid of heights? Then imagine yourself being on
top of a mountain, overseeing the magnificent sights. Enjoy
and feel the moment. Take away all worries and anxieties.

Then just do it! Face it head on! Go to the top of a
building and savor the great feeling of being able to
face your fear.

This applies to whatever thing that triggers your fear
factor. Just imagine being able to defeat it, then
confront it with the definite belief that you have the
capacity to do everything you want if you just put your
mind to it.

Face the thing you fear the most and you'll never have to
fear anything again in your life.

Coaching - an Easy Way To Make Things Happen

2009-07-05T02:18:00.001-07:00

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Coaching - an Easy Way To Make Things Happen

When you hear the word “coach”, what comes first into your mind? Do you picture a basketball team with a man/woman shouting out directions? Or perhaps a football team with a man/woman pacing to and fro and calling out the names of the players?

Coaching is no longer reserved to sports teams; it is now one of the key concepts in leadership and management. Why is coaching popular?

Coaching levels the playing field.

Coaching is one of the six emotional leadership styles proposed by Daniel Goleman. Moreover, it is a behavior or role that leaders enforce in the context of situational leadership. As a leadership style, coaching is used when the members of a group or team are competent and motivated, but do not have an idea of the long-term goals of an organization. This involves two levels of coaching: team and individual. Team coaching makes members work together. In a group of individuals, not everyone may have nor share the same level of competence and commitment to a goal. A group may be a mix of highly competent and moderately competent members with varying levels of commitment. These differences can cause friction among the members. The coaching leader helps the members level their expectations. Also, the coaching leader manages differing perspectives so that the common goal succeeds over personal goals and interests. In a big organization, leaders need to align the staffs’ personal values and goals with that of the organization so that long-term directions can be pursued.

Coaching builds up confidence and competence.

Individual coaching is an example of situational leadership at work. It aims to mentor one-on-one building up the confidence of members by affirming good performance during regular feedbacks; and increase competence by helping the member assess his/her strengths and weaknesses towards career planning and professional development. Depending on the individual’s level of competence and commitment, a leader may exercise more coaching behavior for the less-experienced members. Usually, this happens in the case of new staffs. The direct supervisor gives more defined tasks and holds regular feedbacks for the new staff, and gradually lessens the amount of coaching, directing, and supporting roles to favor delegating as competence and confidence increase.

Coaching promotes individual and team excellence.

Excellence is a product of habitual good practice. The regularity of meetings and constructive feedback is important in establishing habits. Members catch the habit of constantly assessing themselves for their strengths and areas for improvement that they themselves perceive what knowledge, skills, and attitudes they need to acquire to attain team goals. In the process, they attain individually excellence as well. An example is in the case of a musical orchestra: each member plays a different instrument. In order to achieve harmony of music from the different instrument, members will polish their part in the piece, aside from practicing as an ensemble. Consequently, they improve individually as an instrument player.

Coaching develops high commitment to common goals.

A coaching leader balances the attainment of immediate targets with long-term goals towards the vision of an organization. As mentioned earlier, with the alignment of personal goals with organizational or team goals, personal interests are kept in check. By constantly communicating the vision through formal and informal conversations, the members are inspired and motivated. Setting short-term team goals aligned with organizational goals; and making an action plan to attain these goals can help sustain the increased motivation and commitment to common goals of the members.

Coaching produces valuable leaders.

Leadership by example is important in coaching. A coaching leader loses credibility when he/she cannot practice what he/she preaches. This means that a coaching leader should be well organized, highly competent is his/her field, communicates openly and encourages feedback, and has a clear idea of the organization’s vision-mission-goals. By vicarious and purposive learning, members catch the same good practices and attitudes from the coaching leader, turning them into coaching leaders themselves. If a member experiences good coaching, he/she is most likely to do the same things when entrusted with formal leadership roles.

Some words of caution though: coaching is just one of the styles of leadership. It can be done in combination with the other five emotional leadership styles depending on the profile of the emerging team. Moreover, coaching as a leadership style requires that you are physically, emotionally, and mentally fit most of the time since it involves two levels of coaching: individual and team. Your members expect you to be the last one to give up or bail out in any situation especially during times of crises. A coaching leader must be conscious that coaching entails investing time on each individual, and on the whole team. Moreover, that the responsibilities are greater since while you are coaching members, you are also developing future coaches as well.

Chaos Theory: Self-hypnosis for Your Own Peace of Mind

2009-07-05T02:16:00.000-07:00

Cover of Peace of Mind

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Chaos Theory: Self-hypnosis for Your Own Peace of Mind

Your boss ends the day with a stack of papers and instructions that you submit the report in the next 42 hours. Your significant other doesn’t answer your calls. Your mother sends you guilt-tripping messages. Your landlady ignores you when you tell her a part of your ceiling is leaking. You feel a throbbing pain in your temples. Your credit card bills take over even in your dreams.

Easy does it.

Take a deep breath, close your eyes and unravel your thoughts.

Sometimes, taking control over a chaotic life, a stressful situation, a physical ailment or an emotional dilemma starts within you – your mind, your subconscious, specifically.

And communicating with your subconscious - negotiating with your own self - can be achieved through self-hypnosis. How to do it? Here’s a sample basic procedure.

1. Find a venue conducive for relaxation: a quite room, with the temperature comfortable and the lights just right (not too dim, not too bright). Light a candle and incense if you desire.

2. Surround your place with sound pleasant to your ears. Play relaxing music. Bring in a portable fountain. Hang some chimes where the breeze blows. The sound of music is soothing.

3. Find a comfortable position. Surround yourself with pillows, blankets, and the like. A caring, healing sensation eases stress.

4. Tell yourself: “I am light, I am comfortable, I am at ease. All my tensions, worries and anxieties are gone. I am light, I am comfortable, I am at ease.” Repeat many times while breathing deeply.

5. Picture what you want your life to be. Visualize every detail, every situation that you want to happen. Imagine it so as if it is really happening.

6. Repeat no. 4. Breathe in and out, and imagine yourself being surrounded by a bright, luminous light starting from your forehead until it fills the room.

7. Wake up when you’re ready.

Repeat this procedure regularly. This exercise helps you clear your thoughts. It may lead you to self-revelations that would help you assess the situation on how you live your dreams. It may or may not work, your goal may or may not be achieved – the universe has reasons humans may not fathom. The important thing is this: self-hypnosis will help you become a better person – calmer, more attuned to yourself, and more willing to help others. With your tensions and worries away, who knows what you can do!

Building Solid Relationships Using the Power of Words

2009-07-05T02:15:00.002-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Building Solid Relationships Using the Power of Words

We may not be aware of it; but the words we utter daily
may have different interpretations, even if you think that
they mean the same thing.

Here's an example.

Would you rather have someone tell you that you are "slim,"
or would you like to hear that you are "thin?" Being slim
has a slightly positive effect because it is attributed to
health and fitness.

Rather than saying you have failed, just mention that you
have not yet achieved success. Get the picture? Always
try to speak words in the most positive manner you can
think of.

Here's another important advice.

Never compare the negative qualities of one person with
another.

A former boss of mine has this to say to me when I made
an error in my previous day job, "James (not real name) is
doing a much better job than you are. He's not committing
any mistake like you do."

That crushed my heart. My boss thought this would motivate
me to do better. Nope, it just hurt my feelings and lowered
my self-esteem. Of course, I would never make the same
mistake again after her harsh scolding. I've learned my
lesson well. But she could have said it nicely.

Experiences arising from discouragement and condemnation
will have a negative effect on the recipient.

Some parents might believe that instilling fear on their
children would improve their performance. They would
say, "You're always failing. Why can't you be like your
brother? You're such a disgrace to this family."

Now that's not the proper way to do it. They should inspire,
encourage, and motivate their children; not belittle them
even further.

They should tell their children that they have the capacity
to achieve great things, if they would only put a little more
effort. Teach them values that would make them feel important
and loved.

You may even go as far as giving them qualities that they
do not yet possess. By giving them confidence and by making
them believe that they have such characteristics, they will
eventually acquire such traits. Tell them how bright you
think they are, and you will soon be surprised at the
results. They will significantly improve if you firmly made
them believe that they have the capacity to do so.

So if you ever wanted to persuade or encourage someone to do
better, make sure that he or she is motivated out of
inspiration, and not out of fear. Give advice that cares,
and not offensive words borne out of hatred or anger.

Think first before you speak. Many relationships have been
ruined by the wrong choice of words. Some people voice out
anything that comes to their mind, without first filtering
the good words from the bad ones. This might result in
misunderstandings and arguments, which could have easily
been prevented if we speak out in a way that is neutral
and non-offensive.

Words are very powerful indeed. Use them responsibly for
the benefit of all.

Build Your Self Esteem: a Starter Guide to Self Improvement

2009-07-05T02:15:00.001-07:00

Cover of Build Your Self-Esteem

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Build Your Self Esteem: a Starter Guide to Self Improvement

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

Bring Innovation Into Your Life

2009-07-05T02:14:00.001-07:00

Image by donjuanna via Flickr

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Bring Innovation Into Your Life

It's a talent that everyone has, yet they think they don't. The power of innovation. If you've ever marvelled at somebody's creative prowess, guess what, you can create and innovate too. It just takes time. Everyone is born creative. The box of crayons in kindergarten were not limited to those who possessed potential; because the truth is, everybody has potential.

You know how long it took to learn to ride a bike or drive or to never commit the same mistake again? It's the same with innovation. It takes a bit of practice and a lot of time before this mind function comes easily when called. This article will teach you a few tips on how to bring innovation into your life.

Don't listen to what other people say. Follow the beat of your own drum. Allowing for the input of other people will only bring cacophony to the music you are trying to make. If you have an original idea, don't waste your time and effort trying to make people understand. They won't. And the help you will probably get comes in the form of negative feedback. If all those geniuses listened to their peers, we would probably still be living in the middle ages.

Spend time on it. I cannot stress that enough, although, please do not mistake this tip to tell you to quit your day job entirely. Do not. This involves some tricky time management but with a little discipline you'll be able to squeeze both in.

Exercise. Take a walk. Run a mile or two. Send all those endorphins coursing through your veins. Exercising certainly clears and relaxes your mind and allows for anything to pop up.

Record your dreams. Aren't some of them just the craziest things that your conscious mind would never have thought of? If you've had these dreams before, and I'm sure have, this only shows you the untapped innovative power you have lying within. So jot down those notes. Those dreams may just create an innovative spark in you.

Find your own style. You can always tell a Van Gogh from a Matisse. You'll know Hemingway wrote something by the choice of words on the paper. So it is the same with you. People will appreciate your innovation more because it is uniquely yours and that no one else would have thought of what you were thinking. That will let people see how valuable an asset you are.

Don't hide behind nifty gadgets or tools. You don't need the most expensive set of paints to produce a masterpiece. The same way with writing. You don't need some expensive fountain pen and really smooth paper for a bestseller. In fact, J.K. Rowling wrote the first book of the Harry Potter Series on bits of tissue. So what if you've got an expensive SLR camera if you're a crappy photographer? Who cares if you've got a blinging laptop if you can't write at all? The artist actually reduces the number of tools he has as he gets better at his craft: he knows what works and what doesn't.

Nothing will work without passion. What wakes you up in the mornings? What keeps the flame burning? What is the one thing that you'll die if you don't do? Sometimes people with talent are overtaken by the people who want it more. Think the hare and the tortoise. Ellen Degeneres once said that if you're not doing something that you want to do, then you don't really want to do it. And that's true. Sometimes you just want something so bad you become a virtual unstoppable. And that is passion. Passion will keep you going.

Don't worry about inspiration. You can't force it; inspiration hits when you least expect it to, for those unpredictable yet inevitable moments you should prepare. An idea could strike you on the subway, yet alas, you poor unfortunate soul; you have no sheet of paper to scribble down a thought that could change the world. Avoid these disasters. Have a pen and paper within your arm's reach at all times.

I hope this article has helped you bring more innovation into your life. Keep in mind that you're doing these things for your own satisfaction and not anybody else's. But soon enough they will notice, and everything should snowball from there.

Bad Luck ... Or Blessing In Disguise?

2009-07-05T02:13:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Bad Luck ... Or Blessing In Disguise?

There was a woman who was in such a hurry to go to the airport.
She told the cab driver to step on it. She was so engrossed
with her own thoughts that she was not aware they were going
on a different route.

Suddenly, a man went inside the cab and took her handbag where
she placed her visa, passport, and all her money for the trip.

The driver, who was in cahoots with the robber, left her in the
middle of that dark street. She cursed the world for being so
mean to her, and she kept on thinking how unlucky she was to
be in that situation.

That very same night, she heard a shocking news. Tears flowed
down her face. Flight 230 has crashed! It was the plane where
she was supposed to board into. If she have not lost her
precious belongings, she could have lost something far more
important - her life!

Sometimes bad things really happen. We lost our money, failed
our exams, or get rejected by others. There are times when
nothing seems to go our way.

So what do we do about it? Are we going to be disappointed?
The answer is a resounding "No!" We must take all these
frustrations out of our chest and start all over again with
the consistent faith that we will get what we deserved.

So what if you failed the exams? Maybe you'd be more
successful and much happier in another field. You were
rejected by your boyfriend/ girlfriend? There are plenty
of others out there who are much better and who are much more
deserving of your love and affection.

Don't waste your time and energy on things that can't be
changed. Continuous worrying will only affect your health
on the long run, and you'd be doing much more damage than
what was previously done.

Set yourself free. Move onwards with the conviction of a
winner.

What if we turn the tables around? What if you never ran
out of good luck?

There was this man who won the lottery. He thought he was the
luckiest person in the world. He became greedy and wasted
all his money on everything he could get his hands on.

One day, he made it on the front page of the newspaper again.
But this time, it was a different story. He was killed
because of his riches.

If you attain good luck, never be too secure about it either.
Pray for protection and guidance. Life is so unpredictable.
You just won't know what will happen next.

Live one day at a time. Sometimes we subject ourselves to
unnecessary mental and emotional torture. We ask ourselves,
"What if I don't get this done in time?" or "What if my
family leaves me and I've got no one else to turn to?"

Work at the present moment. Do what must be done at present
and the future will turn out just fine. Believe me. And
believe in yourself. As Captain Planet always says: "The
power is yours!"

A Guide to Starting a Healthy Life

2009-07-05T02:12:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

A Guide to Starting a Healthy Life

How many times have you gone to sleep at night, swearing you'll go to the gym in the morning, and then changing your mind just eight hours later because when you get up, you don't feel like exercising?

While this can happen to the best of us, it doesn't mean you should drop the ball altogether when it comes to staying fit. What people need to realize is that staying active and eating right are critical for long-term health and wellness -- and that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. The more you know about how your body responds to your lifestyle choices, the better you can customize a nutrition and exercise plan that is right for you. When you eat well, increase your level of physical activity, and exercise at the proper intensity, you are informing your body that you want to burn a substantial amount of fuel. This translates to burning fat more efficiently for energy.
In other words, proper eating habits plus exercise equals fast metabolism, which, in turn gives you more energy throughout the day and allows you to do more physical work with less effort.

The true purpose of exercise is to send a repetitive message to the body asking for improvement in metabolism, strength, aerobic capacity and overall fitness and health. Each time you exercise, your body responds by upgrading its capabilities to burn fat throughout the day and night, Exercise doesn't have to be intense to work for you, but it does need to be consistent.

I recommend engaging in regular cardiovascular exercise four times per week for 20 to 30 minutes per session, and resistance training four times per week for 20 to 25 minutes per session. This balanced approach provides a one-two punch, incorporating aerobic exercise to burn fat and deliver more oxygen, and resistance training to increase lean body mass and burn more calories around the block.

Here's a sample exercise program that may work for you:

* Warm Up -- seven to eight minutes of light aerobic activity intended to increase blood flow and lubricate and warm-up your tendons and joints.

* Resistance Training -- Train all major muscle groups. One to two sets of each exercise. Rest 45 seconds between sets.

* Aerobic Exercise -- Pick two favorite activities, they could be jogging, rowing, biking or cross-country skiing, whatever fits your lifestyle. Perform 12 to 15 minutes of the first activity and continue with 10 minutes of the second activity. Cool down during the last five minutes.

* Stretching -- Wrap up your exercise session by stretching, breathing deeply, relaxing and meditating.

When starting an exercise program, it is important to have realistic expectations. Depending on your initial fitness level, you should expect the following changes early on.

* From one to eight weeks -- Feel better and have more energy.

* From two to six months -- Lose size and inches while becoming leaner. Clothes begin to fit more loosely. You are gaining muscle and losing fat.

* After six months -- Start losing weight quite rapidly.

Once you make the commitment to exercise several times a week, don't stop there. You should also change your diet and/or eating habits,' says Zwiefel. Counting calories or calculating grams and percentages for certain nutrients is impractical. Instead, I suggest these easy-to-follow guidelines:

* Eat several small meals (optimally four) and a couple of small snacks throughout the day
* Make sure every meal is balanced -- incorporate palm-sized proteins like lean meats, fish, egg whites and dairy products, fist-sized portions of complex carbohydrates like whole-wheat bread and pasta, wild rice, multigrain cereal and potatoes, and fist-sized portions of vegetable and fruits
* Limit your fat intake to only what's necessary for adequate flavor
* Drink at least eight 8-oz. glasses of water throughout the day
* I also recommend that you take a multi-vitamin each day to ensure you are getting all the vitamins and minerals your body needs.

I suppose that's all I can think of for now. I should extend my thanks to a doctor friend of mine. Without him, I wouldn't be able to write this article, or keep my sanity.

Enjoy life, we all deserve it.

A Better You: 7 Steps to Self-Improvement

2009-07-05T02:11:00.002-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

A Better You: 7 Steps to Self-Improvement

I seem to lost count on how many times I've read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right. Not that I care (and personally I don't), it seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as flawless people, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality.

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite of how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self.

So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.

1. Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.

This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.

2. Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2005 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.

The number shouldn't discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.

3. Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it's too late!

4. Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.

5. Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There's sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.

6. Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.

7. Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.

Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn't always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

7 Stress Management Techniques

2009-07-05T02:11:00.001-07:00

Image by xeeliz via Flickr

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

7 Stress Management Techniques

They say there's more than one way to skin a cat. The same goes when you start tearing your hair out with all the frustration, grief, anxiety, and yes, stress. It's a state of mental conditioning that is like taking that bitter pill down your throat, causing you to lose your sense of self, and worse your sanity. Just thinking about it can drive anyone off the edge.

And they say that the proactive ones are already living off the edge.

As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels, and believe me there are many variants when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can't blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what's bugging you anyway?

There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it out of your life one of these days. So I'll try to divide it into a seven-day course for you and I promise it's not going to be too taxing on the body, as well as on the mind.

1. Acknowledge stress is good
Make stress your friend! Based on the body's natural "fight or flight" response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I've yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.

2. Avoid stress sneezers
Stressed people sneeze stress germs indiscriminately and before you know it, you are infected too!

Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you've got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.

3. Learn from the best
When people around are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced?
Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.

4. Practice socially acceptable heavy breathing
This is something I've learned from a gym instructor: You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

5. Give stressy thoughts the red light
It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. "If this happens, then that might happen and then we're all up the creek!" Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?

Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong - how likely is that, and what can you do to prevent it?

6. Know your trigger points and hot spots
Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines…. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!

Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?

Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaf?

7. Burn the candle at one end
Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it's often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don't burn the candle at both ends!

So having stress can be a total drag, but that should not hinder us to find the inner peace of mind that we have wanted for a long time. In any case, one could always go to the Bahamas and bask under the summer sun.

7 Steps to Successful Coaching

2009-07-05T02:09:00.000-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

7 Steps to Successful Coaching

Have you ever been a coach to a neighborhood team? I know how it feels the first time I've coached a team of seven-year-old soccer kids and how much they can really test my patience, not to mention sanity as they run around kicking the ball like ants to a huge, white crumb. It feels strange at first, having to be stared at by a bunch of kids who they will know that I'm not the one in the field. Sounds wrong in a sense, right? But what is the dead about coaching?

Coaching is all about being a, well, 'coach' in the corporate world of handlers, front-liners and even a couple of benchwarmers biding their time to be given a chance to perform. I know how that feels when I go back to my regular day job. Some players are just MVP material, and some of them are just to support the MVP's so why bother sticking around? It sounds ironic when they say 'there is no I in team', but even the underachievers can be sore losers as well.

These are steps that can be done within the day, and no matter what, it takes determination to be a coach.

1. There is a WHOLE lot of talk these days about Corporate Team Building. There are many, many options: vacation packages, rope courses, on-going office games, ice-breakers, etc. Management can also purchase videos, books, and seminar packages to assist them in building up their organization into a team worthy of belonging. A little later I will give you some ideas of where you can go for information on these team-building tools.

2. The truth about motivation is waiting to be grasped! It is ripe and ready for you to put into action today. Don't settle for mind-numbing gibberish. Get practical in 3 small ways to begin looking forward to your alarm clock sounding off each morning before you huddle with the team.

3. Experience is the best thing despite of what course you graduated in. There is something about being a people person who knows how to stir the energetic side of one individual, and more so when you mix it up with an entire team.

4. To question a person by his or her performance is sometimes required, but never question their knowledge or their intelligence. Sadly, I have seen a few mistakes from past coaches who never seem to understand what a player has to go through to get the job right. It will lead to further aggravation and maybe even hostility. If you want the job done right, then go do it yourself. You'll see how it is to be at the receiving end and it will help your set a much better course for improvement.

5. Sending a player to the bench is probably the worse experience a coach has to go through, especially if your player is the top performer. In dealing with this kind of person, see to it that he spills his guts voluntarily. Egotism in a performer tends to make them lose their focus on even the smallest mistakes, then you can catch him or her red handed. Be firm, but understanding about it.

6. Don't allow your position to blind you from what you are supposed to do. Even coaches are human enough to think that they are far more superior, but only by rank. Even if you have been in their shoes when you were their age, it's better to dole out a piece of wisdom in order for them to realize that this will be for their own benefit.

7. Lastly, you should learn to trust yourself and your team. Decisions and performance are primarily your goals, and there are many of them to see if they could perform the task much more efficiently. So before you think about sending one member to the bench, have a good chat with him or her and see if they have any problems. If it's too personal, then just encourage them to do their best and it also helps to give them a good, encouraging slap on the back.

I guess there's all there is to it. Being a corporate drone myself, I know how important it is for a company to be successful, and we're all part of that success. Coaches are there not to make your work a little difficult just because you have either an attitude problem or not much a performer, but they're the guides who will help you perform as hard as you can possibly can. You'll do them proud one of these days, as well as you.

7 Incredible Lifesaving Tips to Manage Your Anger

2009-07-05T02:08:00.002-07:00

Image by mckibillo via Flickr

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

7 Incredible Lifesaving Tips to Manage Your Anger

Experiencing anger is extremely dangerous to your health. It
causes your adrenaline and blood pressure to rise up at above
normal levels. Moreover, you could end up hurting someone or
doing something that you will regret later on.

Here are 7 fantastic tips to help you be the one in control of
yourself, and not the hazardous madman called "Anger."

1) Relax and visualize.

Calm yourself down. Take a deep breath. As you exhale, imagine
all those bottled-up fury come out of your nose and mouth.
Release it and be free. Repeat this step over and over until
you feel peace inside.

Then visualize being in a place where you feel most happy, calm,
and relaxed. It may be a place like a beach, garden, scenic
locations, or anywhere else you might think of. Just imagine
being there and inhaling the essence of your serene environment.
By doing this, you will not find it hard to attain inner peace.

2) Pour out your anger to safe outlets.

You had a big quarrel with your former friend. He betrayed your
trust. You want vengeance and you're raving mad.

Hold it. Restrain yourself.

Try your best to get away from him as far as you can. You don't
want to hurt anyone. Anger can possess your brain into doing
something that you wouldn't dare do before.

How do you then release your anger if you can't restrict it
anymore?

Buy a punching bag, then pour out all your rage in it. Punch it,
kick it, strangle it. Imagine the punching bag is your enemy.
When you're done, you will feel a sense of satisfaction. You may
even punch and kick through thin air if you desire.

Another way to release it is "SHOUT!" Find a distant place where
you can be alone - a place where no one can hear you. At the top
of your voice, yell out loud "Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh."
You can choose any word you like as long as you release all those
angry demons out of your chest.

3) Forgive and forget.

Nothing could ease your mental and emotional pains better than
by forgiving someone that has hurt you in the past. It is very
unhealthy to burden yourself with unnecessary torture brought
about by unpleasant memories of other people's demeaning acts.

Moreover, if they have taken something important away from you,
would it make sense to also sacrifice your health and lifestyle?
Of course not.

4) Exercise.

Engaging in exercises increases your endorphins. Your angry
mood could miraculously change to a happy one if you get involved
in exercises that you enjoy doing.

5) Have a circle of "sponge" friends.

Do you feel relieved when you voice out all your problems to close
friends and relatives? That's the power of voicing out your inner
feelings.

Always have someone to talk to when you're down, when you're
depressed, when you're mad, or in any other occasion when you feel
you have to get the thorns out of your chest.

6) Listen to soothing music.

It calms your soul. A 20 minute session of listening to relaxing
music while resting comfortably could soothe the upset spirit.
Take deep breaths often.

7) Pray.

Deadly consequences arise when people could not hold back their
fury. Ask for guidance that you will be able to control your temper.
Prayers bring inner peace to those who ask for it.

There you have it - 7 essential rules to release yourself from the
treacherous killer known as "Anger." Manage your anger, save your
life.

7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People

2009-07-05T02:08:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People

WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage
yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do.

NUMBER 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.

Yup. They see problems in every opportunity.

They complain that the sun is too hot. They cursed the rain
for ruining their plans for the day. They blame the wind
for ruining their hair.

They think that everyone is against them. They see the problems
but never the solutions.

Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of
tragedy. They regard failures as catastrophes. They become
discouraged easily instead of learning from their mistakes.

They never seem to move forward because they're always afraid
to come out of their comfort zones.

NUMBER 2 - They Act Before They Think.

They move based on instinct or impulse. If they see something
they like, they buy at once without any second thought.

Then they see something better. They regret & curse for not
able to take advantage of the bargain.

Then they spend & spend again until nothing's left. They
don't think about the future. What they're after is the
pleasure they will experience at present.

They don't think about the consequences. Those who engage
in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in
this group.

NUMBER 3 - They Talk Much More Than They Listen

They want to be the star of the show. So they always engage
in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of
lying.

Oftentimes they are not aware that what they're saying is not
sensible anymore.

When other people advise them, they close their ears because
they're too proud to admit their mistakes.

In their mind they're always correct. They reject suggestions
because that will make them feel inferior.

NUMBER 4 - They Give Up Easily

Successful people treat failures as stepping stones to success.

Incompetent ones call it quits upon recognizing the first signs
of failure.

At first, they may be excited to start an endeavor. But then
they lose interest fairly quickly, especially when they
encounter errors.

Then they go & search for a new one. Same story & same results.
Incompetent people don't have the persistence to go on and
fulfill their dreams.

NUMBER 5 - They Try to Bring Others Down To Their Level

Incompetent people envy other successful individuals. Instead
of working hard to be like them, these incompetent ones spread
rumors and try every dirty trick to bring them down.

They could've asked these successful ones nicely. But no, they're
too proud. They don't want to ask advise. Moreover, they're
too negative to accomplish anything.

NUMBER 6 - They Waste Their Time

They don't know what to do next. They may just be contented on
eating, getting drunk, watching TV, or worse, staring at the
blank wall with no thoughts whatsoever to improve their lives.

It's perfectly fine to enjoy once in a while. But time should be
managed efficiently in order to succeed. There should be a
proper balance between work & pleasure.

NUMBER 7 - They Take the Easy Way Out

If there are two roads to choose from, incompetent people would
choose the wider road with less rewards than the narrower road
with much better rewards at the end.

They don't want any suffering or hardship. They want a good life.

What these people don't know is that what you reap is what you
sow. Efforts & action will not go unnoticed.

If only they would be willing to sacrifice a little, they would
be much better off.

Successful people made it through trials & error. They never
give up. They are willing to do everything necessary to achieve
what they aspire for in life.

5 Super Effective Tips To Kill Depression

2009-07-05T02:07:00.003-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

5 Super Effective Tips To Kill Depression

Being lonely is a normal part of our everyday lives. We
get sad when we fail in our exams, when we're rejected by
the person we love, or when someone very close to us
passes away. Depression, however, could be more fatal
than just plain loneliness. It could render life-long
consequences that could ruin your self-esteem, health,
and well-being.

Here are some superb tips to conquer the melancholy mood
and get the most bliss out of your daily activities.

1) Get Enough Light and Sunshine.

Lack of exposure to sunlight is responsible for the
secretion of the hormone melatonin, which could trigger
a dispirited mood and a lethargic condition.

Melatonin is only produced in the dark. It lowers the
body temperature and makes you feel sluggish. If you
are always cooped up in your room (with the curtains
closed), it would be difficult to restrain yourself
from staying in bed.

This is the reason why many people are suffering from
depression much more often in winter than in the other
seasons. It's because the nights are longer.

If you can't afford to get some sunshine, you can
always lighten up your room with brighter lights.
Have lunch outside the office. Take frequent walks
instead of driving your car over short distances.

2) Get Busy. Get Inspired.

You'll be more likely to overcome any feeling of
depression if you are too busy to notice it. Live
a life full of inspired activities.

Do the things you love. If you're a little short
on cash, you could engage in simple stuffs like
taking a leisurely stroll in the park, playing
sports, reading books, or engaging in any activity
that you have passion for and would love to pursue.

Set a goal - a meaningful purpose in life. No
matter how difficult or discouraging life can be,
remain firm and have an unshakable belief that you
are capable of doing anything you desire. With
this kind of positive attitude, you will attain
a cheerful disposition to beat the blues.

3) Take a Break.

I mean it.

Listen to soothing music. Soak in a nice warm
bath. Ask one of your close friends to massage
you. Take a break from your stressful workload
and spend the day just goofing around. In other
words, have fun.

4) Eat Right and Stay Fit.

Avoid foods with lots of sugar, caffeine, or
alcohol. Sugar and caffeine may give you a
brief moment of energy; but they would later
bring about anxiety , tension, and internal
problems. Alcohol is a depressant. Many people
would drink alcohol to "forget their problems."
They're just aggravating their conditions in the
process.

Exercising regularly is a vital depression buster
because it allows your body to produce more
endorphins than usual. Endorphins are sometimes
called "the happy chemicals" because of their
stress-reducing and happiness-inducing properties.

5) Get a Social Life.

No man is an island. Your circle of friends are
there to give you moral support. Spending time
and engaging in worthwhile activities with them
could give you a very satisfying feeling. Nothing
feels better than having group support.

Never underestimate the power of touch. Doesn't
it feel so good when someone pats you on the back
and gives you words of encouragement during your
most challenging times? Hug or embrace someone
today. You'll never know when you have saved
another life.

Get intimate. Establish close ties with your
family and friends. The love and care expressed
by others could tremendously boost your immune
system and fend off illnesses. Best of all, you'll
live a more secured and happy life.

5 Great Techniques to Realize Your Goals

2009-07-05T02:07:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

5 Great Techniques to Realize Your Goals

Goals keep us motivated. But sometimes, people find it too hard to achieve their goals. Maybe because they have set long-term goals before setting short-term ones, or they did not plan their goals carefully.

Goal-setting strategies are important especially for those who want to achieve long-term goals. Here are five goal-setting techniques to help you realize them.

1. Start with short-term goals that will lead you to long-term ones. Sometimes, people start with short-term goals unconsciously. Why unconsciously? Some of them may have considered the goals to be long-term at the time they planned them; and after achieving a goal, they realize that they are in fact, looking forward to a longer one. Some are contented with their short-term goals, but after a while will realize that they also need to attain long-term ones. Short-term goals seem to be our set off for longer ones. They will motivate the person to plan for longer goals, which will usually take some time before achieving them in full.

2. Make sure you really want the goal. By this, you have to ask yourself: "Do I really want this goal? Will this goal give me a better life?" Answering these questions will give you more passion to achieve your goal. Some people recall their past to find out why and how they came up with such goal.

3. Speak up. By this, it means you shouldn't keep your goals to yourself only. Sharing your goals could help you get the support you may need from others. Some people are too shy to tell others about their goals for reasons like they are afraid they cannot achieve these in the end, or they lack the courage to speak up their minds. This is not a good habit because when the time comes that you really need their support, you will have a difficult time to get such support. You will then have to achieve your goals all by yourself. Also, sharing the fruits of your goals is uplifting to the mind and spirit.

4. Write down your goals. This strategy is more advisable for those who have a long list of goals. After writing them, it is advisable to review them because this will encourage you to achieve them.

5. Stay on track and don't give up. Reviewing notes will help open your mind to see if you are on the right track. While on track, you may have to face challenges that might change your personality. A person who is overconfident might suddenly feel depressed after finding out that he is going the wrong way in achieving his goal. Thus this might lead to abandoning the goal. Never be discouraged. Facing obstacles is a test on how passionate one is to realize his goal.

4 Powerful Ways To Fire Up Your Motivation

2009-07-05T02:06:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

4 Powerful Ways To Fire Up Your Motivation

It's so difficult to go on when everything seems to fail, isn't
it? Are there times in your life when you really want to call
it "quits" because you just can't see any good results from all
the hard work you've done?

Hold your horses!

Never ever think of giving up. Winners never quit and quitters
never win. Take all negative words out of your mental dictionary
and focus on the solutions with utmost conviction and patience.
The battle is never lost until you've abandon your vision.

But what if you're really exhausted physically, mentally, and
most of all emotionally? Here are some sources of motivation
to prompt you in reaching the peak of accomplishment.

1) The Overwhelming Feeling of Attaining your Desired End

How would you feel after accomplishing your mission? Of course
you will feel ecstatic. You might be shedding tears of joy. Let
this tremendous feeling sink in and encourage you to persist
despite all odds.

When I was studying for the Board Exams, I used this technique
to motivate me. I would envision the sweetness of folks calling
me a CPA. It would command respect. People will look up to
me as a higher level of authority. And I would have better
chances of finding a good job. I absorbed all these great
perceptions into my inner being in order to achieve my ultimate
goal.

2) The Reward System

How would you feel if you've entered a contest, but there are no
prizes for the winners? It's not very encouraging, isn't it?

The same principles apply to your vision. Reward yourself after
accomplishing a goal. Set a particular incentive for every
objective.

Let's say if you've achieved a particular task, you'll treat
yourself to your favorite restaurant. When you've finished
a bigger task, you'll go on a vacation.

Got the idea?

Just set something gratifying to indulge in after completing
a certain undertaking.

3) The Powerful Force of Humanity

If you want to succeed, surround yourself with the right
kind of people who will support and encourage you all the
way.

Be with people who have the same beliefs and aspirations as
yours. Positive aura is generated by this fusion of
collective energy from people of "like minds."

On the contrary, being with people who oppose your ways of
thinking may trigger a negative, yet very powerful, kind of
motivation.

Has anyone ever said to you that "You'll never get anywhere"
or "You're wasting your time with what you're doing?"

Didn't it made you furious and determined enough to prove to
them how wrong they were? This is what I'm talking about.

When aggravated, you will do anything to make those who are
against you swallow their words. But of course, your main
focus should be on the accomplishment of your goal and not
for the purpose of revenge. Never let your emotions toward
others alter your main objective.

4) Take Care Of Your Health

Exercise regularly. Fill your brains with enough oxygen to
allow you to do your daily tasks with more vigor and energy.

Take regular breaks if time allows. Having the will power
to continue despite all hardships is extremely important, but
you should still know your limits.

If you don't take enough rest, you will not be able to think
clearly and you will not be able to do your tasks properly.
In the process, you will just get more frustrated.

Take sufficient sleep and recharge yourself after a hard day's
work. Never, ever ignore your health. I've learned my lesson
when I sacrificed my health for the sake of success. I've
worked very long hours everyday and just got minimal sleep.
As a result, I became ill.

It's not worth it. Success won't matter if you don't have
good health to enjoy it.

Fire up your motivation and live life to the fullest!

4 Key Elements to Effective Stress Management

2009-07-05T02:05:00.001-07:00

Image by elycefeliz via Flickr

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

4 Key Elements to Effective Stress Management

We all have this favorite expression when it comes to being stressed out, and I wouldn't bother naming all of them since it may also vary in different languages. But when it comes down to it, I think that it is how we work or even relax, for that matter that triggers stress. Ever been stressed even when you're well relaxed and bored? I know I have.

Since stress is unavoidable in life, it is important to find ways to decrease and prevent stressful incidents and decrease negative reactions to stress. Here are some of the things that can be done by just remembering it, since life is basically a routine to follow like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast. You can do a few of them in a longer span of time, but as they say-- every minute counts.

Managing time

Time management skills can allow you more time with your family and friends and possibly increase your performance and productivity. This will help reduce your stress.

To improve your time management:

· Save time by focusing and concentrating, delegating, and scheduling time for yourself.
· Keep a record of how you spend your time, including work, family, and leisure time.
· Prioritize your time by rating tasks by importance and urgency. Redirect your time to those activities that are important and meaningful to you.
· Manage your commitments by not over- or undercommitting. Don't commit to what is not important to you.
· Deal with procrastination by using a day planner, breaking large projects into smaller ones, and setting short-term deadlines.
· Examine your beliefs to reduce conflict between what you believe and what your life is like.
Build healthy coping strategies

It is important that you identify your coping strategies. One way to do this is by recording the stressful event, your reaction, and how you cope in a stress journal. With this information, you can work to change unhealthy coping strategies into healthy ones-those that help you focus on the positive and what you can change or control in your life.

Lifestyle

Some behaviors and lifestyle choices affect your stress level. They may not cause stress directly, but they can interfere with the ways your body seeks relief from stress. Try to:

· Balance personal, work, and family needs and obligations.
· Have a sense of purpose in life.
· Get enough sleep, since your body recovers from the stresses of the day while you are sleeping.
· Eat a balanced diet for a nutritional defense against stress.
· Get moderate exercise throughout the week.
· Limit your consumption of alcohol.
· Don't smoke.

Social support

Social support is a major factor in how we experience stress. Social support is the positive support you receive from family, friends, and the community. It is the knowledge that you are cared for, loved, esteemed, and valued. More and more research indicates a strong relationship between social support and better mental and physical health.

Changing thinking

When an event triggers negative thoughts, you may experience fear, insecurity, anxiety, depression, rage, guilt, and a sense of worthlessness or powerlessness. These emotions trigger the body's stress, just as an actual threat does. Dealing with your negative thoughts and how you see things can help reduce stress.

· Thought-stopping helps you stop a negative thought to help eliminate stress.
· Disproving irrational thoughts helps you to avoid exaggerating the negative thought, anticipating the worst, and interpreting an event incorrectly.
· Problem solving helps you identify all aspects of a stressful event and find ways to deal with it.
· Changing your communication style helps you communicate in a way that makes your views known without making others feel put down, hostile, or intimidated. This reduces the stress that comes from poor communication. Use the assertiveness ladder to improve your communication style.

Even writers like me can get stressed even though we're just using our hands to do the talking, but having to sit for 7 or 8 hours is already stressful enough and have our own way to relieve stress. Whether you're the mail guy, the CEO, or probably the average working parent, stress is one unwanted visitor you would love to boot out of your homes, especially your life.

4 Brilliant Tips to Speed Read Faster than Ever

2009-07-05T02:04:00.002-07:00

Image by iBjorn via Flickr

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

4 Brilliant Tips to Speed Read Faster than Ever

Many people, particularly students, would love to be
able to absorb information faster. But before retaining
information, they have to go through the first stage of
learning, which is reading.

For many individuals who are pressed for time, speed
reading has become a necessity. However, it's not just
the reading part that is important. Equally essential
is for the reader to fully understand the words coming
out from the book or paper.

Here are some great tips to read and comprehend faster.

1) Relax.

If you're in the stressed mode, it would be much more
difficult to concentrate; hence, it would just be a lot
harder for the information to sink in.

2) Know what you want.

Focus on the areas that you really need to learn. Some
people read all parts of a book, when all they need to
know is a specific chapter.

Know your priority. If you need to find out about a
certain subject, go to the Table of Contents and search
for the heading that best suits your need. If you need
to learn more, then adjust accordingly. The important
thing is to weed out the stuffs that you don't
currently need.

3) Get rid of the structure words.

Did you know that around 60% of the words we read are
structure words? Examples are the words "the, or, and."
They are essential in the structure of the sentences;
but when you ignore them, they basically mean the same
thing. They only serve to beautify, yet you can
understand what you are reading even without them. Try
not to focus too much attention on structure words.

4) Practice, practice, practice.

When I started exercising with weights, I can only lift
the lighter ones. As the time goes by, I slowly add more
and more weights as my body tends to adjust and become
more comfortable carrying heavier ones.

The same concept goes for speed reading. Set a goal.
Figure out how fast you can read, then create a plan to
increase your ability.

If you can read 200 words per minute, set a goal to
read 250 words a minute. After accomplishing this feat,
set a goal to read 300 words per minute.

This takes time and practice, but the effort is all
worth it. If this is your first time to set such a
goal, read first those materials you are familiar with.

Carry on with more difficult ones as you progress. This
way, you're not overwhelming yourself with understanding
different new words and at the same time developing your
speed reading skills.

4 Amazing Tips To Successfully Persuade Anyone

2009-07-05T02:04:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

4 Amazing Tips To Successfully Persuade Anyone

Having excellent persuasion skills is one of the most important
abilities to possess in today's fast-paced world. We need the
support and cooperation of other people to help us in reaching
our goals. The saying "No man is an island" is an undeniable
truth.

Here are some hot tips to effectively influence and persuade
anyone you desire.

1) Enter their world.

You must understand the situation according to their point of
view. Set aside your personal interests and concentrate on
them.

Just pretend that if you are them, what would you do? What
would be your opinion? Then take the appropriate action that
would be beneficial to them.

Copy them. Observe how they act, how they speak, and how
they think. If they rub their forehead while they think,
act like them. If they speak at a clear and slow pace, try
to do the same thing. This is called mirroring.

In due time, the people you're mirroring will subconsciously
feel more comfortable with you. It's as if they see
themselves in you.

However, you must proceed with caution. Do not let them be
aware that you are copying them. They might interpret it as
mockery and you'll just get into trouble.

2) Be Friendly and Nice.

Smile to brighten up the day. Make a sincere compliment to
raise their spirits. Little things like these count a lot.

Make them feel that whenever they need help or just someone
to look up to, you'll always be there to lend a hand. They
would tend to be more receptive to people that they trust.

If you want to ask your boss a favor, do everything you can
to please him. Overdeliver and exceed his expectations.
Soon, he will notice your efforts and will be more than
glad to grant your request.

3) Provide them with compelling evidence.

Explain to them how your ideas or suggestions could be the
most effective techniques to implement. Show them undeniable
proof that you have the best product by way of testimonials,
before and after scenarios, and detailed comparisons against
your competitors. Just make sure that all your claims are
true and verifiable. Always maintain a good reputation.

4) Meet their existing needs and desires.

People are self-centered. They are initially concerned with
their own well-being before others. If you can prove that
your proposal will provide more advantageous benefits to them
than to your own, then they will probably accept it.

If you could focus more on their interests, desires, needs,
and expectations, then you would satisfy their cravings for
attention. Moreover, it would show that you really care
about them. Mutual trust and respect would be established.

This is the most important thing to remember when persuading
anyone. No matter how close you are to becoming like them or
how overwhelming your evidence is, if it does not satisfy the
"What's In It For Me?" test, your persuasion efforts will not
produce satisfactory results. Always bear in mind how they
will benefit from your actions.

10 Ways to Start Taking Control (time management, goal setting, record tracking)

2009-07-05T02:02:00.000-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

"Who's the Boss?" 10 Ways to Start Taking Control (time management, goal setting, record tracking)

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.

6. Squash the "ANTs"
In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)
You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

When it comes to the corporate world, protocol is pretty much the religion. To know the things needed to do are the basics of productivity, but interaction and having a steady mind makes up the entire thing to true productivity. There are those who seem to work well even under pressure, but they're uncommon ones and we are human and imperfect. To get these little things like stress under our skins won't solve our problems. Sometimes it takes a bit of courage to admit that we're turning to be workaholics than tell ourselves that we're not doing our best.

10 Ways to Empower Your Communication

2009-07-05T02:01:00.002-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

10 Ways to Empower Your Communication

"A Piece of Blarney Stone"

The Blarney Stone is a historical stone, or actually part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland where it was believed that kissing the stone can grant you the gift of gab. Yeah, it seems strange in this day and age, but who are we to question tradition? It's not like I'm saying that Santa Claus doesn't exist (OOPS!).

There is so much to know about conversation that anyone, even I, could ever realize. You can go though watching talk shows; radio programs; clubs dedicated to public speaking; ordinary conversations; certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words. It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it's your mouth that's doing the work, your brain works twice as hard to churn out a lot of things you know. So what better way to start learning to be an effective communication is to know the very person closest to you: yourself.

1. What you know.
Education is all about learning the basics, but to be an effective speaker is to practice what you've learned. My stint as guest at every Toastmasters' meeting I go to taught me that we all have our limitations, but that doesn't mean we can't learn to keep up and share what we know.

2. Listening.
It's just as important as asking questions. Sometimes listening to the sound of our own voice can teach us to be a little bit confident with ourselves and to say the things we believe in with conviction.

3. Humility
We all make mistakes, and sometimes we tend to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means, but rarely use it only to impress listeners. So in a group, don't be afraid to ask if you're saying the right word properly and if they're unsure about it then make a joke out of it. I promise you it'll make everyone laugh and you can get away with it as well.

4. Eye Contact
There's a lot to say when it comes to directing your attention to your audience with an eye-catching gaze. It's important that you keep your focus when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, even though he or she may be gorgeous.

5. Kidding around
A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech. That way, you'll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they'll feel that you're just as approachable, and as human to those who listen.

6. Be like the rest of them
Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You'll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what people make them as they are.

7. Me, Myself, and I
Admit it, there are times you sing to yourself in the shower. I know I do! Listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech in front of a mirror can help correct the stress areas of your pitch. And while you're at it you can spruce up as well.

8. With a smile
A smile says it all much like eye contact. There's no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it's a wake. You can better express what you're saying when you smile.

9. A Role Model
There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they're at a public gathering or maybe at church. Sure they read their lines, but taking a mental note of how they emphasize what they say can help you once you take center stage.

10. Preparation
Make the best out of preparation rather than just scribbling notes and often in a hurried panic. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while other resort to being a little more silly as they look at their notes written on the palm of their hand (not for clammy hands, please). Just be comfortable with what you know since you enjoy your work.

And that about wraps it up. These suggestions are rather amateurish in edgewise, but I've learned to empower myself when it comes to public or private speaking and it never hurts to be with people to listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational.

10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself: a preparation to self-improvement

2009-07-05T02:01:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself: a preparation to self-improvement

"What Really Makes You Tick?"

Be all you can be, but it's not always in the Army. I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it's hard to think of anything else when where are real issues to be discussed.

Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.

So we're all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn't even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks… or can they?

1. What do I really want?
The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. Should I really change?
Today's generation has taken another level of redefining 'self', or at least that's what the kids are saying. Having an army of teenage nieces and nephews has taught me that there are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle?

If history has taught us one thing, it's the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn't appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

3. What's the bright side in all of this?
With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it's a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

4. Am I comfortable with what I'm doing?
There's always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn't take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we'll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. Have I done enough for myself?
Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you'll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?
It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?
So maybe I don't have an answer to that, but that doesn't mean I can't try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have?
I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it's more on how badly you really need it. I'd like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

9. What motivates me?
What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It's not like you can't have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that's it. Just try it piece by piece.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?
So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it's something that you really want.

10 Inspirational Quotes That Can Improve Yourself

2009-07-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

10 Inspirational Quotes That Can Improve Yourself

It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day's work. Well, yeah I'm guilty about that one as well, unless I'm caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodka… half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor.

Just don't ask how it happened, please.

But what's really interesting is that how do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this 'mind-over-matter' thing.

Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite of what's been happening, and to those who has gone though the ordeal, it's better to just laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with a man, and he's bound to mock the subject and you'll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.

Woody Allen has this to say:

1. "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn't have to take an arm and a leg to get it.

2. "I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government." 'Nuff said.

3. "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life's little problems isn't all that bad, until 'he' shows up.

Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you're talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.

4. "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." And if you want more, just keep on asking!

5. "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." It sounds, 'practical', I think.

And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn't involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.

6. "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.

7. "I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." If it rains, it pours.

8. "I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." It could get worse when you're guzzling on beer… or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!

9. "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." At least he doesn't smite us with lightning, and I'm thankful for that.

And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can't seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we're religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.

And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.

10. "The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."

Ciao!

Insomnia - How to End the Frustration

2009-07-05T01:59:00.002-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Insomnia - How to End the Frustration

Insomnia is a common sleep sickness that has bothered
many people around the world. But the consequences
brought about by this disorder may not be as ordinary as
it may seem. It can be downright punishing.

You know the frustration of looking repeatedly at your
clock while endlessly moving around in your bed. It's
mental and emotional agony to say the least. The
tension builds up to its peak when you see the sunrise,
and you have to go to the office lacking so much energy
after spending a sleepless night.

You don't have to suffer anymore. Here are some tips
to help you snooze faster than you could ever expect.

1) Wake up and go to bed at the same time everyday, even
during the weekends. Some insomniacs tend to sleep at
any time of the day to catch up on some sleep they lose
during the night. Now this is the biggest mistake you
can make. It ruins your body clock and will only worsen
your insomnia. If you can't sleep one night, get up the
usual time the next morning. You'll be sleeping soundly
like a baby the next night.

2) Don't eat within 4 hours before you go to bed. If
in case you went hungry, try some crackers or light
snack. But don't indulge in an "eat-all-you-can"
feast right before bedtime. Your food won't be digested
well, resulting in poor and uncomfortable sleep.

3) Don't drink caffeine or alcohol. Caffeine can
obstruct your ability to sleep. Alcohol can make you
drowsy, but it can wake you up in the middle of the
night and bring you side effects that will hinder a
continuous sleep process.

4) Relax and stay fit. Avoid having a stressful
lifestyle. Exercise daily to release tension.
Engage in breathing exercises to relax your body.
Most important of all, don't carry your problems or
emotional baggage to sleep with you. Forget about it
for the mean time. You can go back and solve your
dilemma better the next day after a restful sleep.

5) Never force yourself to sleep. Trying your best
to sleep requires some work. You don't want to work
when you want to doze off. Sleep comes best if
you are in a relaxed and comfortable state. Just
lie down, relax, and let the sleeping fairy cast its
spell upon you.

Keeping your Friends

2009-07-05T01:59:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Keeping your Friends

Ever encountered the phrase "friendship overload?" Some people may have this overload and we sometimes call them lucky for having many friends. But sometimes those friends only remain in the phonebook, memories, or photos. People who have "friendship overload" find it hard to keep those friends even if they want to. There are ways to keep the friendships alive, whether they are near or faraway.

Keep in touch with your friends often. For long-distance friendships, you could take advantage of email. If there is an event, like birthdays or Christmas, or even if you just want to say "hi," a card would be a nice idea. Online cards are always available on the net. For those friends who are just across your place or school, keep in touch with them by sending cards, letters, and notes. These are some of the best ways to communicate with them. Do not forget that handwritten work is more appreciated because personal touch is involved.

After getting in touch with them, some of them may respond and you might end up seeing them personally. Spend your time with your friends in a more meaningful and interesting way. This works best especially for those friends you haven't seen for a long time. Strolling at a park or watching a movie are some of the ways to have fun. Sometimes spending time with your friends becomes boring when you end up talking about each other's problems in a day. On the other hand, listening to each other's problems is not bad. In fact this is a way to keep your friendships more meaningful, by reassuring each other in both good and bad times. Having a big problem is not the only time you should see your friends. In a way, spending good times or having fun with troubled friends might eventually help them to get through their problems.

Friendship also means responsibility. They are not friends just because you need them during difficult times, or just to have more gifts come Christmas time; but because you love and appreciate them. If you are a true friend, you will always make yourself available especially during the most depressing times.

Friends play an important role in a person's life. Some say they are the extension of your family; that is, you are not blood-related but you share a deep relationship with each other. Treat your friends well, for they are worth much more than any wealth or property in the world.

Laws of Human Attraction

2009-07-05T01:58:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Laws of Human Attraction

Does a Law on Human Attraction Exist?

“Opposites attract” is a law of attraction, at least where electromagnetism is concerned. But are there laws about attraction between two people? “In a world that is full of strangers” as a line in a famous song of the 1980’s goes, is there a clear set of rules that allows two people to fall for each other?

Is attraction a matter of chemistry?

Maybe. According to scientists, the attraction between animals of the opposite sex is all about chemicals called pheromones. The effect of pheromones in behavior of insects is the most studied to date. It has been observed, at least in some experiments, that pheromones are responsible for communication among same species and colony of ants. The horrible odor released by skunks to ward off enemies is said to be a kind of pheromone. Some species of apes rub pheromone-containing urine on the feet of potential mates to attract them. Some scientists believe that animals (usually the females) such as insects and mammals send out these chemical signals to tell the male of their species that their genes are different from theirs. This gene diversity is important in producing offspring with better chances of survival. The perfume industry has capitalized on pheromones as a means to increase one’s sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. Animals such as the whale and the musk deer were hunted down for these chemicals.

Lately, scientists are looking into the existence of human pheromones and its role in mate selection. There are many conflicting views in the realm of biology, chemistry, genetics, and psychology. Most scientists would assert that these do not exist, or if they do, do not play a role in sexual attraction between a man and a woman. But new researches such as that conducted by Swiss researchers from the University of Bern led by Klaus Wedekind are slowly making these scientists rethink their stand. Their experiment involved women sniffing the cotton shirts of different men during their ovulation period. It was found out that women prefer the smell of men’s shirts that were genetically different, but also shared similarities with the women’s genes. This, like in the case of insects and other mammals, was to ensure better and healthier characteristics for their future children. But researchers also cautioned that preference for a male odor is affected by the women’s ovulation period, the food that men eat, perfumes and other scented body products, and the use of contraceptive pills.

Does personality figure in sexual attraction?

Yes, but so does your perception of a potential mate’s personality. According to a research conducted by Klohnen, E.C., & S. Luo in 2003 on interpersonal attraction and personality, a person’s sense of self-security and at least the person’s perception of his/her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations. What does this tell us? We prefer a certain personality type, which attracts you to a person. But aside from the actual personality of the person, which can only be verified through close interaction through time, it is your perception of your potential partner that attracts you to him/her, whether the person of your affection truly has that kind of personality or not. This could probably account for a statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed relationships: “I thought he/she was this kind of person.”

So how does attraction figure in relationships?

You have probably heard that attraction is a prelude, or a factor towards a relationship. Most probably, at least in the beginning; but attraction alone cannot make a relationship work. It is that attraction that makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams, and passions become more significant in long-term relationships.

So should I stop trying to become attractive?

More than trying to become physically attractive, work on all aspects of your health: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical attraction is still a precursor. Remember, biology predisposes us to choose the partner with the healthiest genes. Where your emotions are concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about him/herself? Probably not! There is wisdom in knowing yourself: who you are, your beliefs, values, and dreams. And do not pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in all aspects, attractiveness becomes a consequence and not an end. As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luo’s research, a person’s sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction. But remember: do these things for yourself and not for other people. Only then can you truly harness your attractiveness as a person.

Life Choices and the Decisions We Make

2009-07-05T01:57:00.001-07:00

Life Choices and the Decisions We Make

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Life Choices and the Decisions We Make

Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.

Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad. With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?

There are no guarantees.

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent. There are too many possible outcomes, which your really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would act and react to different situations.

Wrong decisions are always at hindsight.

Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong.

Take the risk: decide.

Since life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, moreover open more roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveller or an accidental tourist of life. But take caution that you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:
· Get as many information as you can about your situation.

You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

· Identify and create options.

What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end.

· Weigh the pros and cons of every option.

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option.

· Trust yourself and make that decision.

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always at hindsight. So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.

Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.

Life Mapping: Plan Your Journey

2009-07-05T01:56:00.000-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Life Mapping: Plan Your Journey

Success is more than economic gains, titles, and degrees. Planning for success is about mapping out all the aspects of your life. Similar to a map, you need to define the following details: origin, destination, vehicle, backpack, landmarks, and route.

Origin: Who you are

A map has a starting point. Your origin is who you are right now. Most people when asked to introduce themselves would say, “Hi, I’m Jean and I am a 17-year old, senior highschool student.” It does not tell you about who Jean is; it only tells you her present preoccupation. To gain insights about yourself, you need to look closely at your beliefs, values, and principles aside from your economic, professional, cultural, and civil status. Moreover, you can also reflect on your experiences to give you insights on your good and not-so-good traits, skills, knowledge, strengths, and weaknesses. Upon introspection, Jean realized that she was highly motivated, generous, service-oriented, but impatient. Her inclination was in the biological-medical field. Furthermore, she believed that life must serve a purpose, and that wars were destructive to human dignity.

Destination: A vision of who you want to be

“Who do want to be?” this is your vision. Now it is important that you know yourself so that you would have a clearer idea of who you want to be; and the things you want to change whether they are attitudes, habits, or points of view. If you hardly know yourself, then your vision and targets for the future would also be unclear. Your destination should cover all the aspects of your being: the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Continuing Jean’s story, after she defined her beliefs, values, and principles in life, she decided that she wanted to have a life dedicated in serving her fellowmen.

Vehicle: Your Mission

A vehicle is the means by which you can reach your destination. It can be analogized to your mission or vocation in life. To a great extent, your mission would depend on what you know about yourself. Bases on Jean’s self-assessment, she decided that she was suited to become a doctor, and that she wanted to become one. Her chosen vocation was a medical doctor. Describing her vision-mission fully: it was to live a life dedicated to serving her fellowmen as a doctor in conflict-areas.

Travel Bag: Your knowledge, skills, and attitude

Food, drinks, medicines, and other travelling necessities are contained in a bag. Applying this concept to your life map, you also bring with you certain knowledge, skills, and attitudes. These determine your competence and help you in attaining your vision. Given such, there is a need for you to assess what knowledge, skills, and attitudes you have at present and what you need to gain along the way. This two-fold assessment will give you insights on your landmarks or measures of success. Jean realized that she needed to gain professional knowledge and skills on medicine so that she could become a doctor. She knew that she was a bit impatient with people so she realized that this was something she wanted to change.

Landmarks and Route: S.M.A.R.T. objectives

Landmarks confirm if you are on the right track while the route determines the travel time. Thus, in planning out your life, you also need to have landmarks and a route. These landmarks are your measures of success. These measures must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time bound. Thus you cannot set two major landmarks such as earning a master’s degree and a doctorate degree within a period of three years, since the minimum number of years to complete a master’s degree is two years. Going back to Jean as an example, she identified the following landmarks in her life map: completing a bachelor’s degree in biology by the age of 21; completing medicine by the age of 27; earning her specialization in infectious diseases by the age of 30; getting deployed in local public hospitals of their town by the age of 32; and serving as doctor in war-torn areas by the age of 35.

Anticipate Turns, Detours, and Potholes

The purpose of your life map is to minimize hasty and spur-of-the-moment decisions that can make you lose your way. But oftentimes our plans are modified along the way due to some inconveniences, delays, and other situations beyond our control. Like in any path, there are turns, detours, and potholes thus; we must anticipate them and adjust accordingly.

Live Your Life to the Fullest

2009-07-05T01:55:00.000-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Live Your Life to the Fullest

Do you sometimes feel that you're living a boring life? You
just can't seem to find anything exciting.

You wake up in the morning, then do the same old rituals.
You go to the office or to school. You meet the same people,
do the same job, travel the same road, booooring. Next
day, same story.

Do you want a change in your life? The solution is YOU!
You're the master of your destiny. You decide if you want
to have a change or not.

Take the situation of a high school graduate. He have 2
choices - to continue through college or earn money working
as a clerk.

He's intimidated by the difficulties of studying, thesis, etc.
He doesn't think he will pass the exams because he thinks he's
below average. He doesn't like to take the risk of failing
college and earning no money at present.

So he works as a clerk earning meager income. He's happy
because he's earning money at such a young age while his
friends are having a hard time.

But then his friends graduated and got high-paying jobs. He
envies them. If only he have sacrificed a few years and
faced all the challenges of college, then he could've had
a better life. If only he had taken the risk!

There are also some people who want to improve their lives,
but they're just too afraid to come out of their comfort
zones and explore the endless opportunities out there.

Yes, there may be challenges and problems; but if you try
your best to move forward, you'll get more out of life.

Explore and diversify. Take a different route to work,
eat exotic foods you've never tasted, do something
outrageous (not dangerous).

Life could be exciting. It's your choice. Are you
satisfied with your life right now? If not, then you
need to do the things that you think will make your
life complete and meaningful.

You've got only one life to live. Maximize every opportunity.
Go out and do those things which will leave lasting memories
in your mind. Live every day as if it's your last.

Seize every moment!

Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?

2009-07-05T01:54:00.002-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?

People of two opposing ideas can stir up arguments
and fights. It's that situation when one thinks
he has the right concept while the other one also
believes he has the proper notion. Both of them
would try to outsmart each other until one claims
victory.

Here's an actual example.

My spouse would sometimes buy me signature
clothing. When my Mom founds out how much it costs,
she would advise us to budget our money and just buy
the affordable ones.

A problem occurs when my spouse thinks that her effort
to give me the best was unappreciated. Mom, on
the other hand, would think that my spouse is such
a spender.

There's a conflict with their beliefs. No two
people are exactly alike. We are totally unique;
not only physically, but mentally and emotionally
as well.

There will be many times when your opinion will not
correspond with that of another. So how can people
prevent this kind of conflict from occurring?

Communication is the key to overcome doubts and
misunderstandings.

You should let other people know what's in your mind.
Don't keep them guessing.

There was a story about two couples who were filing
a divorce. After the lawyer have spoken to them
both, he found out that the root cause of all their
problems was due to miscommunication.

Here's one of the couple's problems.

The man filing the divorce said that he just hated
the breakfast meal that his wife often prepared for
him. On the other hand, the wife said that she's
only preparing the meal because she thought it was
her husband's favorite. But she never liked cooking
it because it's very difficult to prepare.

See? If only one of them took the initiative to
speak out what's in his or her mind, then that
particular dilemma would be over.

Now why would people prefer to keep their complaints
and criticisms to themselves? What's holding them
back?

It's because they do not want to be rejected. Most,
people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to
be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others.

So can you get your message across without hurting
their feelings?

Substitute negative statements with positive ones.

Instead of saying "You don't understand," say "Let
me explain." Instead of remarking "You're wrong,"
say "Permit me to clarify." Instead of stating
"You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps this was
not stated."

There are certain words that affect a person more
negatively in comparison with other words that have
the same meaning.

Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than
hearing someone else say that you are right. In
this case, be prepared to let other people know that
you respect their opinions. You may add your comments
at the end, but acknowledge them first.

Say:
You're right, although ...
Great suggestion, however ...
I agree with your opinion, however ...
I would feel the same way if I were you, although ...
I understand your situation, however ...

Reassure your counterparts that the decision made will
benefit both parties. People need to feel that they
have made the right choice.

Communication is a gift. Use it wisely for everyone's
advantage.

Necessary Qualities of a Good Persuader

2009-07-05T01:54:00.001-07:00

Image by assbach via Flickr

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Necessary Qualities of a Good Persuader

Persuasion is asserting your will over others. In this definition, the concept of power comes in. Power is the ability of a person to put his will over others or over his followers. But in persuasion, no full power should be applied. The persuader should learn to be humble to accomplish his objective, so that the persuadee may give in. Therefore, the qualities of a persuader must come from opposite ends. He must be positive-minded but open to negative results; he must be insistent but must also know how to compromise.

Let us look at the essential qualities a good persuader must have.

First, he must learn to balance both sides. In the middle of a discussion, he should not always place too much emphasis on the advantages he will get from the deal. He should place equal or more consideration in the benefits that the other party will get. The persuader should try to anticipate the expectations of the persuadee. Thereafter, the persuader’s benefits can be considered.

Secondly, the persuader must have a positive mind. He must show enthusiasm not only in words but also in actions. Gestures and facial expressions should be part of the conversation to make the persuadee agree with the persuader. Let’s say you’re the persuader. Should the persuadee ask questions, endeavor to make your answers positive ones (of course, you cannot avoid saying negative ones if those are true).

Thirdly, the persuader should learn to compromise. Compromise here relates to a balanced negotiation. This does not mean giving up at all, but some things should be given up to make way for better ones. To do this, learn to balance the situation (first rule). No matter how enthusiastic the persuader is, the persuadee might have his own conditions or decision factors.

These strategies are best applicable for sales persons or marketers who are closing deals with clients.

One more thing not mentioned above but I think is a universal rule that everybody should know, is the notion of being honest. You cannot persuade people if most you are saying are lies. Honesty is still the best policy.

Our Worst Enemy

2009-07-05T01:53:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Our Worst Enemy

Who do you consider as your worst enemy? The criminals roaming
the dark streets? Your boss who's killing you mentally and
emotionally with stress and harsh words? The people in office
who are engaging in graft and corruption, instead of helping
those in need?

We have many implications of who our enemies are; but we have
one common foe who is the main cause of our failures and
misfortunes, and we're not even aware of this opponent.

You may not want to admit it, but our worst enemy is ourselves.

Who do you blame when something goes wrong? You blame the people
around you, the weather, maybe even God. But we are the ones who
are in control of ourselves. We can change the outcome of our
lives because we have the capacity to do that.

It is our fear, jealousy, greed, etc. that is ruining our lives.
Some people who never managed to get out of poverty blame the
government or their jobs. But they're too afraid to try out
new ventures that may improve their lives. They half-heartedly
go to work on their 9 to 5 job. Then when the day is done, they
watch TV and go out aimlessly having fun without seriously
thinking of what great opportunity the future has in store for
them, if only they would try to do something different with their
lives.

Fear has caused many to remain frigid and to never go out
exploring the wonderful things this world has to offer.
Lots of people would rather stay where they are in an
unsatisfied state than to risk difficulties and obstacles
for the sake of attaining their dreams.

If their lives are not getting any better, they have no else
to blame but themselves.

Jealousy and envy has also caused some relationship problems.
Some people immediately jump to conclusions without first
analyzing the situation. They let their sudden emotions
control their behaviors without even thinking of the
consequences that may result.

If they're having problems with their relationships, they
have no else to blame but themselves.

This goes to show that we decide what will happen to us. Of
course, there are circumstances that are beyond our control,
like natural calamities. But we can still utilize to our best
advantage the things that we have control of.

For instance, you got rejected by your dream girl. Some
people would just get drunk and feel miserable, thinking that
it's the end of the world. Some will move onwards with their
lives and find the best in what remains with them. See? It's
really up to you. You decide if you want to have a good life
or not.

You failed in your exams? So what? There's another
opportunity. You can just sulk in sorrow or you can study
harder to get a high score in the future. It's up to you.

There's no use crying over spilled milk. You don't have to
get frustrated over your misfortunes. Concentrate on how
you could get better in the future.

If we encounter problems, we can either succumb to it, or we
can treat it as an opportunity to become stronger and to
become better individuals. Winners would always treat their
dilemmas as opportunities.

Oh yes. We can be our worst enemy, but we can also be our
best friend. It's all up to you!

Positive Thinking: A 7 Step Guide

2009-07-05T01:52:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Positive Thinking: A 7 Step Guide

I'm sure you have a bright idea hidden somewhere in the back of your mind that you just can't wait to test out. Of course you're not the only one with the bright idea. So what motivates you to churn those creative, or even inspiring juices to its utmost flavor?

It's always best to set up a personal goal where you can accomplish the most in record time, maybe like mowing the lawn in an hour before the big game on TV. A correct and positive attitude in whatever you do will make things easier, and even enjoyable.

Here are some tips to make it through the week even if you're just sitting in your favorite couch. An idea takes time to form in your head and is always at work while you are busy sitting.

Having a bit of positive thinking can help you realize things that are never thought possible. Thinking big is indeed the American Way and that what made our country prosperous.

1. Take passionate action towards living your life by design. Talk is cheap. Action = deposits in the bank of a passionately authentic future. Without it, passion is void.

This is a perfect example where dreams are made of where you start by tinkering with your mind, then with your hands. And if the idea weakens, you can always go back to it later until you finish it.

2. Commit to yourself as well as those you love to create powerfully a life you can love. Instead of reacting, commit to creating from your heart and soul, out of love rather than fear. The American Dream will always be there, but a dream will still be a dream without motion. Be amazed as the transformation begins.

3. Recognize and embrace the thought that each moment is perfect regardless of its outcome. Every time you hit on something that may appear too extreme, why not give it a shot and see if it will work. You will be surprised to see of there are other ways to get the task done in time. If you are not pleased with the outcome, decide to use that moment to learn from and make the appropriate shift.

4. Dwell completely in a place of gratitude. Learn to utilize what you have in your hands and make use of it in the most constructive way. Slipping into neediness will become less of a habit when you repeatedly shift towards gratitude, away from poverty consciousness.

5. Use a Passion Formula of Recognize/Reevaluate/Restore in place of the Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda whirlwind. The former is based in increased knowledge and abundance while the latter focuses on scarcity and lack. As you face people or tasks that may seem harder than scaling the summit of the Himalayas, allow yourself to realize that the task is just as important as giving out orders to your subordinates. You would rather be richly passionate!

6. Keep humor at the forefront of thought, laughing at and with yourself when possible. You may find yourself quite entertaining when you loosen up! I am yet to see a comedian ever go hungry even though his jokes are as 'old as great-grandma'. Life has so much to offer to allow you to mope around in self pity. Humor is very attractive, very passionate: life-giving.

7. Believe that you are the architect of your destiny. No one can take your passionate future from you except for you! Create your life authentically. As long as there's still breath in your body, there is no end to how much you can accomplish in a lifetime. The concept of thinking big is all about enjoying your work, which would lead to celebrate a discovery that is born within your hands. Watch everything flow into place with perfect, passionate precision.

It's interesting how people get wallowed up by something trivial as learning to use a computer, when nowadays that top computer companies are manufacturing software that even the kids can do it. I don't mean to be condescending, but that's the idea of not having any positive thinking in your life-you'll just end up as a dim bulb in a dark corner. So instead of subjecting yourself to what you will be doomed for, make your path by taking the first step with a positive attitude.

Powers of a Positive Attitude: You can Change the World!

2009-07-05T01:51:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Powers of a Positive Attitude: You can Change the World!

I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let's say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here's another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn't end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what's not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

Relationship Building Essentials

2009-07-05T01:50:00.001-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Relationship Building Essentials

Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.

Building an effective and lasting relationships is a necessity for several reasons. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.

The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.

An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

People or other entities who depend on these groups or organization also suffer.

Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

Understanding the other parties' feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice.

Respect is the key to relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.

The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice.

Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.

Work towards a win-win solution for both parties.

This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party's needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.

Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other.

Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.

Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.

When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship. Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party's feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.

Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say 'No man is an Island'.

Surefire Ways to Attain Moneymaking Success

2009-07-05T01:49:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Surefire Ways to Attain Moneymaking Success

You have probably heard other people say that "Money isn't
everything" or "Money can't buy happiness." They may be
right in some aspects; but it's not just about the money.

It's about having an ideal lifestyle - being able to have
control over your time and schedule, having no one ordering
you around, not having to look at the price tags every time
you go out shopping, and just enjoying the freedom that you
truly deserve.

But why do many people fail to achieve financial freedom?
Through experience, I have observed that they have limited
belief.

That's the problem with most people. They have set up a
boundary in their minds. This barrier stops any
possibility of surpassing the current limits of their
belief.

For example, many people would think that their boring
day job is all that they're good enough for. They do
not like to think outside the box. They do not grab
opportunities that are theirs for the taking. Fears
and doubts have been causing them to miss these golden
chances of a lifetime.

There are plenty of opportunities out there. They may
enroll in night classes, do some research on how to make
more money, or start an internet business.

When I was just starting my online endeavors, all my
friends and relatives (with the exception of my internet
marketing friends, of course) would discourage me in
entering this venture. They would repeatedly inform me
that I'm wasting my time and nothing good would come out
of it.

Had I listened to them, I would not have achieved online
success. If they have succeeded in implanting their own
restricted beliefs into my mind, I never would have
tasted the joy of being an infopreneur.

No offense to them. I respect their decisions.
Everyone has the right to voice out their opinions, but
no one has the right to force others in accepting their
belief. Thank goodness my internet marketing pals have
encouraged and supported me all the way.

Believe that you have the capacity and power to attain
moneymaking success, and you're halfway there.

Plan everything. Make a list of things that would
allow you to save money. Cut back on using your
credit card, pay your bills on time, make wise
investment decisions, and try your best to start in
some sort of business (no matter how small).

More importantly, action should be taken. It's not
enough to just believe. You have to make a move.
Does making mistakes frighten you? Don't be. The
more mistakes you make, the closer you will get to
success.

Sacrifice. Instead of watching TV or going shopping,
invest more time on those activities that would propel
you in reaching your financial goals.

Many people would repeatedly complain that they're
sick and tired of their lives, but do they really
deserve a better life? The harder you work, the
more chances that success will hit you.

Never, ever give up. Quitting is not an option.
You must keep on pounding and pounding until you
have achieved your mission.

Money may not be everything, but living your life
the way you want it to be is.

The A-Z of Self Improvement and Motivation

2009-07-05T01:48:00.001-07:00

Cover of Believe

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

The A-Z of Self Improvement and Motivation

Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. Getting flunked grades make us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our inability to look for a source of income. Being humiliated gives us the ‘push’ to speak up and fight for ourselves to save our face from the next embarrassments. It may be a bitter experience, a friend’s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.

With the countless negativities the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? Try on the tips I prepared from A to Z…

A - Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

B - Believe in your self, and in what you can do.

C – Consider things on every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.

D – Don’t give up and don’t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation as your steering wheel.

E – Enjoy. Work as if you don’t need money. Dance as if nobody’s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.

F – Family and Friends – are life’s greatest ‘F’ treasures. Don’t loose sight of them.

G – Give more than what is enough. Where does motivation and self improvement take place at work? At home? At school? When you exert extra effort in doing things.

H – Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force.

I – Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don’t let other people to get the best of you. Stay out of toxic people – the kind of friends who hates to hear about your success.

J – Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone.

K – keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self improvement.
L – Learn to love your self. Now isn’t that easy?

M – Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes.

N – Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game.

O – Open your eyes. People should learn the horse attitude and horse sense. They see things in 2 ways – how they want things to be, and how they should be.

P – Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn repertoire and ways on how can we recover from our mistakes.

Q – Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate – are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?

R – Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah build the ark.

S – Stop procrastinating.

T – Take control of your life. Discipline or self control jives synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self improvement.

U – Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second.

V – Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land.

W – Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self improvement.

X – X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on “extras” on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.

Y – You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you’re just going to spend it once.

Z – Zero in on your dreams and go for it!!!

The Art of Adapting to Change

2009-07-05T01:46:00.002-07:00

Cover of Change One

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

The Art of Adapting to Change

One of the main reasons that may hinder us from reaching our
innermost goals and desires is our inability to be flexible.

This fact may be hard to swallow, but it's true. We do
everything we can to eliminate any type of suffering in our
lives, yet challenges and pressures can bring out the best
in us.

If you have been burdened by mistakes in the past, learn from
them, forget about them, and move on. Some people tend to
focus on how bad their lives have been due to these mistakes.
As a result, they remained stuck in their miserable lives.

Treat your mistakes as lessons, and apply them as learning
references in your future endeavors.

So what if you invested in a business and you lose a ton of
money? In this situation, some people would remain deeply
discouraged for a long time that their personal lives are
being affected negatively. They can't eat well and they
just stare at the ceiling all night long, thinking how this
bad incident happened. Furthermore, they would probably vow
not to venture into new opportunities again.

You don't have to be like them. If you're afraid to fail,
then you risk all your chances to achieve your goals in life.
Try again; but this time, be more careful and use your past
mistakes as guide maps.

Look at it this way. If you try, at least you get a 50%
chance of getting what you want. But if you did not try
at all, you have absolutely no chance of attaining your
desires in life. It's a no-brainer.

But when you try, make sure you follow through. I've met
so many people who have accepted my proposal to write
reports for me, but most of them would stop right in the
middle of their work and quit. They have the drive to
start, but they lack the motivation to go through all the
difficulties. Yes, this is another fact of life. Those
who persist may have some hell of a time at present, but
they shall have the last laugh.

Let's fast forward into the future. Let's say you did try,
you followed through, and you succeeded. Congratulations.
So you became wealthy by reaping the fruits of your labor.
This does not mean you'll stay in that situation for good.
Problems may rise again, so always be ready to adjust to
the current situation. The only thing permanent in this
world is change.

If you need to sacrifice something for a better cause,
then do it. If you have to miss your favorite show on
TV or if you have to deny your friends' invitation to go
out on a Saturday night so that you can devote more time
to those activities that will lead you closer to your
goals, so be it.

You may encounter difficulties. You may receive criticisms.
You may even be regarded as being "different" or "strange"
by other people. Don't let them discourage you. Just
keep on striving, and success will be yours for the taking.

2009-07-05T01:46:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

The Hidden Superpowers Of Your Mind

The mind is an infinite wonder. It has the fantastic ability to
transmute your desires into their physical counterparts. You can
do anything that your mind can conceive, as long as you have the
belief and will power to back it up.

Take the case of cancer patients who were given placebo pills.
These are just plain pills that have no healing capabilities.
So how did they get well?

The power came from their thoughts. They were told that these
pills contain the highest amounts of cancer-fighting ingredients
which can effectively cure them in a matter of days.

See how powerful your mind is?

They believed that their health will be restored. They have
registered in their minds that these pills will cure them of
their illnesses. In the process, the belief embedded within
their subconscious came to reality.

So how can you use your mind to achieve your dreams? One of the
most effective ways is to use the "as if" principle.

Act as if you are the person you want to be. Act as if you are
already in possession of whatever you long to have.

So what do you want to be? You want to be a lawyer, doctor,
athlete, or newscaster? Think, act, and feel like one. You'll
be much closer to your goal if you're constantly intact with
your objective. Be obsessed with your dream. It doesn't mean
that if you want to be Superman you'll fly out the window. Not
a good idea!

It's not enough that you act like one, but you have to actually
ACT. Do what needs to be done. You might get so lost in your
fantasy dream world that you've forgotten to take some action.
Let your visions encourage and motivate you to actualize your
purpose.

The problem with the people of the modern world is that they
are too preoccupied with worries, anxieties, and negative
emotions. As a result, they are adversely affecting their
state of health.

White lies have become prevalent nowadays in order to ease the
burdens or to persuade others to do things that they thought
are unattainable.

There was once a weightlifter who couldn't lift weights in excess
of 300 lbs. So his coach devised a clever idea and told him that
the barbell he has to carry weighs only 300 lbs. With all his
might, the weightlifter managed to put it above his head. After
he puts it down, the coach told him that he has just lifted 350
lbs. of weight! It's all in the mind!

A famous person once said, "Whenever you think you can or you
can't, you're right."

If you think you are poor, then you are; unless you properly
condition your thoughts to the positive mindset. I know it's
hard to think rich if your environment is not conducive to
such way of thinking. Use your imagination then! Visualize
your house to be a mansion, your old car to be a limousine,...
Well you get the picture.

There is absolutely no limit with what the mind can achieve. But
you have to combine belief, will power, and action with positive
thinking in order to arrive at your intended destination.

The True and Magnificent Power of Giving

2009-07-05T01:45:00.002-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

The True and Magnificent Power of Giving

You've probably heard of the popular saying "It's better to
give than to receive." But do you actually know what hidden
power lies within this magnanimous act known as "giving?"

When you give something from your heart without expecting
anything in return, you release a powerful force that will
trigger your good deed to "bounce" back to you in amazing,
and sometimes unusual ways.

I firmly believe that whatever you impart to others will
come back to you a hundred fold. You are doing yourself a
big favor by helping someone in need. By doing even the
smallest acts of generosity, you are inviting good vibrations
to come into your life.

You would be earning the respect and love of your recipients.
You know that you will always have a loyal group of friends
who would help, protect, and do anything for you just because
they feel that they have to repay you in any way they can.
Most people would have the urge or drive to reciprocate any
act of kindness you've shown them.

However, this does not mean that you must expect them to repay
you. Give without any expectation of rewards. Don't do it
just because you have an ulterior motive. Give unconditionally.
Give because you are happy doing it. The universe will get
back to you in its own special way.

Speaking of happiness, the act of giving can summon the spirit
of joy to come into your heart. How would you feel when you've
given something to your less fortunate neighbors? Let me tell
you that nothing could brighten up my day more than hearing them
express their most heartfelt gratitude and seeing their smiles
extend from ear to ear.

Giving is also a healthy habit. It could prolong your life by
instilling within you an inner sense of peace and accomplishment.

Just like all things in life, giving has its limitations.
Being too generous can have its toll. Your kindness might be
taken advantage of and people might abuse your good intentions.
Beware of individuals who are continuously seeking your aid.
It's better to teach them how to solve their problems than to
always attend to their needs.

As one saying goes ...

"Give them some fish and you'll feed them for a day. Teach them
how to fish and you'll feed them for a lifetime."

Lastly, here's what I consider the most important rule about
giving. Keep your good deeds to yourself. Don't announce to the
whole world that you've donated $100,000 to your favorite charity
or that you've helped save a child from a life-threatening
disease.

If you really desire to give, do it secretly and in private.
Some people would write "anonymous" rather than their own names
when they've made a contribution. The universe smiles upon
these individuals, and they will get their just rewards in due
time.

Now that you know how wonderful it is to give, would you go out
to the world and share your blessings?

Things You Thought You Knew About Leadership

2009-07-05T01:45:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Things You Thought You Knew About Leadership

Much has been written about leadership: rules, pointers, styles, and biographies of inspiring leaders throughout world history. But there are certain leadership ideas that we ourselves fail to recognize and realize in the course of reading books. Here is a short list of things you thought you knew about leadership.

1. Leaders come in different flavors.

There are different types of leaders and you will probably encounter more than one type in your lifetime. Formal leaders are those we elect into positions or offices such as the senators, congressmen, and presidents of the local clubs. Informal leaders or those we look up to by virtue of their wisdom and experience such as in the case of the elders of a tribe, or our grandparents; or by virtue of their expertise and contribution on a given field such as Albert Einstein in the field of Theoretical Physics and Leonardo da Vinci in the field of the Arts. Both formal and informal leaders practice a combination of leadership styles.
· Lewin’s three basic leadership styles – authoritative, participative, and delegative
· Likert’s four leadership styles – exploitive authoritative, benevolent authoritative, consultative, and participative
· Goleman’s six emotional leadership styles - visionary, coaching, affiliative, democratic, pacesetting, and commanding.

2. Leadership is a process of becoming.

Although certain people seem to be born with innate leadership qualities, without the right environment and exposure, they may fail to develop their full potential. So like learning how to ride a bicycle, you can also learn how to become a leader and hone your leadership abilities. Knowledge on leadership theories and skills may be formally gained by enrolling in leadership seminars, workshops, and conferences. Daily interactions with people provide the opportunity to observe and practice leadership theories. Together, formal and informal learning will help you gain leadership attitudes, gain leadership insights, and thus furthering the cycle of learning. You do not become a leader in one day and just stop. Life-long learning is important in becoming a good leader for each day brings new experiences that put your knowledge, skills, and attitude to a test.

3. Leadership starts with you.

The best way to develop leadership qualities is to apply it to your own life. As an adage goes “action speaks louder than words.” Leaders are always in the limelight. Keep in mind that your credibility as a leader depends much on your actions: your interaction with your family, friends, and co-workers; your way of managing your personal and organizational responsibilities; and even the way you talk with the newspaper vendor across the street. Repeated actions become habits. Habits in turn form a person’s character. Steven Covey’s book entitled 7 Habits of Highly Effective People provides good insights on how you can achieve personal leadership.

4. Leadership is shared.

Leadership is not the sole responsibility of one person, but rather a shared responsibility among members of an emerging team. A leader belongs to a group. Each member has responsibilities to fulfill. Formal leadership positions are merely added responsibilities aside from their responsibilities as members of the team. Effective leadership requires members to do their share of work. Starting as a mere group of individuals, members and leaders work towards the formation of an effective team. In this light, social interaction plays a major role in leadership. To learn how to work together requires a great deal of trust between and among leaders and members of an emerging team. Trust is built upon actions and not merely on words. When mutual respect exists, trust is fostered and confidence is built.

5. Leadership styles depend on the situation.

How come dictatorship works for Singapore but not in the United States of America? Aside from culture, beliefs, value system, and form of government, the current situation of a nation also affects the leadership styles used by its formal leaders. There is no rule that only one style can be used. Most of the time, leaders employ a combination of leadership styles depending on the situation. In emergency situations such as periods of war and calamity, decision-making is a matter of life and death. Thus, a nation’s leader cannot afford to consult with all departments to arrive at crucial decisions. The case is of course different in times of peace and order---different sectors and other branches of government can freely interact and participate in governance. Another case in point is in leading organizations. When the staffs are highly motivated and competent, a combination of high delegative and moderate participative styles of leadership is most appropriate. But if the staffs have low competence and low commitment, a combination of high coaching, high supporting, and high directing behavior from organizational leaders is required.

Now that you are reminded of these things, keep in mind that there are always ideas that we think we already know; concepts we take for granted, but are actually the most useful insights on leadership.

Time Management: The 80/20 Rule

2009-07-05T01:44:00.001-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Time Management: The 80/20 Rule

Time management is basically about being focused. The Pareto Principle also known as the '80:20 Rule' states that 80% of efforts that are not time managed or unfocused generates only 20% of the desired output. However, 80% of the desired output can be generated using only 20% of a well time managed effort. Although the ratio '80:20' is only arbitrary, it is used to put emphasis on how much is lost or how much can be gained with time management.

Some people view time management as a list of rules that involves scheduling of appointments, goal settings, thorough planning, creating things to do lists and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

But there is more skills involved in time management than the core basics. Skills such as decision making, inherent abilities such as emotional intelligence and critical thinking are also essential to your personal growth.

Personal time management involves everything you do. No matter how big and no matter how small, everything counts. Each new knowledge you acquire, each new advice you consider, each new skill you develop should be taken into consideration.

Having a balanced life-style should be the key result in having personal time management. This is the main aspect that many practitioners of personal time management fail to grasp.

Time management is about getting results, not about being busy.

The six areas that personal time management seeks to improve in anyone's life are physical, intellectual, social, career, emotional and spiritual.

The physical aspect involves having a healthy body, less stress and fatigue.

The intellectual aspect involves learning and other mental growth activities.

The social aspect involves developing personal or intimate relations and being an active contributor to society.

The career aspect involves school and work.

The emotional aspect involves appropriate feelings and desires and manifesting them.

The spiritual aspect involves a personal quest for meaning.

Thoroughly planning and having a set of things to do list for each of the key areas may not be very practical, but determining which area in your life is not being giving enough attention is part of time management. Each area creates the whole you, if you are ignoring one area then you are ignoring an important part of yourself.

Personal time management should not be so daunting a task. It is a very sensible and reasonable approach in solving problems big or small.

A great way of learning time management and improving your personal life is to follow several basic activities.

One of them is to review your goals whether it be immediate or long-term goals often.

A way to do this is to keep a list that is always accessible to you.

Always determine which task is necessary or not necessary in achieving your goals and which activities are helping you maintain a balanced life style.

Each and everyone of us has a peek time and a time when we slow down, these are our natural cycles. We should be able to tell when to do the difficult tasks when we are the sharpest.

Learning to say "No". You actually see this advice often. Heed it even if it involves saying the word to family or friends.

Pat yourself at the back or just reward yourself in any manner for an effective time management result.

Try and get the cooperation from people around you who are actually benefiting from your efforts of time management.

Don't procrastinate. Attend to necessary things immediately.

Have a positive attitude and set yourself up for success. But be realistic in your approach in achieving your goals.

Have a record or journal of all your activities. This will help you get things in their proper perspective.

These are the few steps you initially take in becoming a well rounded individual.

As the say personal time management is the art and science of building a better life.

From the moment you integrate into your life time management skills, you have opened several options that can provide a broad spectrum of solutions to your personal growth. It also creates more doors for opportunities to knock on.

Two Proven Techniques that Successful People Do to Double or Triple Their Time in a Day

2009-07-05T01:38:00.000-07:00

By Michael Cobb
http://www.be-a-better-you.com

Two Proven Techniques that Successful People Do to Double or Triple Their Time in a Day

They say that time is much more important than wealth. Most effective people think so. They know how to get more time in a day, and they have mastered the art of utilizing time effectively to do more productive things that contribute to their advancement or success. So how do they do it?

Proven Technique Number 1 - They delegate and assign simple routinary tasks to other people so that they can have more free time to do as they please.

This is very elementary but of great significance. If you have the money, hire people to do the housework, the repairing, and even some of your office jobs. Let others do the research. But of course, you have to reward them accordingly so they will get motivated to render their services again.

You can then focus on the more important things in life, like planning and managing your activities.

Proven Technique Number 2 - They plan seriously.

The less time you think you have, the more critical it is for you to plan. By planning carefully, you’ll be able to manage your time better and avoid costly mistakes that eat up much more of your time.

You might say that you’re so busy you don’t even have time to plan. Maybe you can insert some time planning while doing your other activities. The planning phase is very important in organizing your thoughts to carry out the desired effects.

You might say that this is boring stuff, but you should never underestimate this process. This is like a guideline to steer you into the right direction.

Your plan will be your road map. Spend enough time to ponder through the different approaches and activities, and you will soon realize that you can save a lot more time by doing this.

It will be best if you can choose a quiet place to make your plan.
Your mind can focus and think more clearly this way.

Every individual has his unique perception of a well-made plan. There are no specific rules in making it. But in case you're in a tight situation, let me give you some tips.

1. Write down your objective. This is a precise definition of your target.

2. Brainstorm the strategies & tactics you will employ to accomplish your objective.

3. Assess the advantages & disadvantages of carrying out those strategies & choose those tactics where the pros outweigh the cons.

4. Set a timeline or deadline in completing your mission.

5. Make modifications & back-up plans in case Plan A doesn't work.

6. As your plan evolves, you will gain experience. Learn from your mistakes.

Most important of all, don’t delay. Start applying what you have learned today, and have lots of great time!